QuotaBillsThank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin
I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West
Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben
Goat Herder: A person who likes to work with kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo
Juvenile Delinquency: Modern term for what we did as kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A crude meal, no doubt, but the best of all sauces is hunger. - Edward Abbey
So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien
My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield
We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley
A meal without cheese is like a beautiful woman who lacks an eye. - Jean A Brillat-Savarin
You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal. - William S. Burroughs
Water Hazard: Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Jackpot: When all the kids stay at friends' homes for the night - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher
Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna
All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr
The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller
Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown
Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward
Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford
Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri
I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown
As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller
If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault
I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz
There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore
You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa
I do know what my first meal in the next world would be: Spaghetti Aglio e Olio, heavy on everything. - Rachael Ray
No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker
All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker
You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller
I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner
You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke
The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin
Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller