QuotaBillsBeer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee
Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling
Good wine is a necessity of life. - Thomas Jefferson
Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster
Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen
I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown
Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood
Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin
Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II
I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw
Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown
Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin
We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano
Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? - John Mendoza
To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur
You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
Good intentions are not enough. They've never put an onion in the soup yet. - Sonya Levien
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson
Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany
I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker
New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx
Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King
I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy
Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse
Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson
I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.
They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray
Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung
Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid
We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore
You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott
A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke
A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life. - Groucho Marx
If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster