Speed Limit Warning

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. - Homer

What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator. - Marvin Lebman

Speed is not a priority, just enjoy your hike. - Barry Putra

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

There is more to life than increasing its speed. - Mahatma Gandhi

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

It is an ill cause that the lawyer thinks shame o'. - John Ray

The speed of the leader determines the rate of the pack. - Wayne Lukas

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright

How many lawyer jokes are there? One, the rest are true stories. - Thomas F Shubnell

When you're over the hill, that's when you pick up speed. - Quincy Jones

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

A lawyer is a gentleman that rescues your estate from your enemies and then keeps it to himself. - Henry P Brougham

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

At the end of a marathon, it's going to hurt whether you're speeding up or slowing down. You may as well push. - Summer Sanders

Now we got a lawyer, we got civilization, which I understand to mean that a man has a chance to get rich without working. - Sinclair Lewis

The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

Honest and peace-loving people shun the Courts and are prepared to suffer loss rather than fall into a Lawyer's clutches. - Peter De Noronha

Long runs improve your endurance but shorter intervals improve your speed. They are mutually beneficial for a distance runner. - Eliud Kipchoge

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko