Speed Limit Warning

A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. - French Proverb

OK, so what's the speed of dark? - Steven Wright

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator. - Marvin Lebman

There is more to life than increasing its speed. - Mahatma Gandhi

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

Walter Mondale has all the charisma of a speed bump. - Will Durst

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. - Cathy Guisewite

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy. - Von Clausewitz

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

It is an ill cause that the lawyer thinks shame o'. - John Ray

Once you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed. - Charles M Shulz

When you're over the hill, that's when you pick up speed. - Quincy Jones

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

He who will always be his own lawyer will often have a fool for a client. - J Hunter

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

Stock Split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

A lawyer is a gentleman that rescues your estate from your enemies and then keeps it to himself. - Henry P Brougham

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

A lawyer's duty is to read the law well himself, then tell the people what it is, and let them act upon it. - Brigham Young

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

At the end of a marathon, it's going to hurt whether you're speeding up or slowing down. You may as well push. - Summer Sanders

Now we got a lawyer, we got civilization, which I understand to mean that a man has a chance to get rich without working. - Sinclair Lewis

The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

It is the business of a lawyer to find a hole to creep out of any law that is in his way; and if there is no hole, to make one. - W Ouseley

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. - Steven Wright

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud