#1 humor site on the 'net

Split Personality Ad

Backwards ad campaign reverses model appeal

Split Personality Ad thanks to Barry McCartney

Miss-placed advertising

QuotaBills
An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

From my own personal life, abstinence works. - Rick Perry

I did not know myself, I lost my personality. - Gertrude Stein

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

Until they split off into all them other denumerations. - Archie Bunker

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements. - Norman Douglas

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

Nothing of character is really permanent but virtue and personal worth. - Daniel Webster

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

The most powerful leadership tool you have is your own personal example. - Unknown

Ya gotta watch out for that rigididness. It'll warf your personality. - Archie Bunker

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Character and personal force are the only investments that are worth anything. - Walt Whitman

No personal consideration should stand in the way of performing a public duty. - Ulysses S Grant

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

If you're not failing now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe. - Woody Allen

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Personal judgments are like watches; none go just the same, yet each believes his own. - Alexander Pope

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

Authenticity, honesty, and personal voice underlie much of what's successful on the Web. - Rich Lenall

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Character is better than ancestry, and personal conduct is of more importance than the highest. - Thomas J. Barnardo

Talking business disgusts me. If you want to talk business, call my disgusting personal manager. - Sylvester Stallone

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

For me it's all about personal vision - is there something about a subject that uniquely speaks to me. - Leonard Nimoy

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Calvin

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery

Don't make your voice loud to make others listen to you. Make your personality so loud that others beg to listen to you. - Unknown

Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

An artist is a man of action, whether he creates a personality, invents an expedient, or finds the issue of a complicated situation. - Joseph Conrad

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed – I well know. For it’s a sign that he tried to surpass himself. - Georges Clemenceau

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

The essential element in personal magnetism is a consuming sincerity - an overwhelming faith in the importance of the work one has to do. - Bruce Barton

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Charity is a very personal equation, like we say charity begins at home. It starts with your immediate help in the house: the people who work for you. - Malaika A. Khan


High-Rise Inifinity Pool

Winter Kayaking

Balanced Family Life

Closed Ahead

Forgettable Fishing Trips

I've Got Your Back

Dr Pepper Financing

Wine Therapy

Weakest Part

Cycle Circles

My New Diet

We Is Closed

Cheap Child Support

Ankle Warning

Peanut Sale

Beer Chess

Astronomy Perspective

Wolf Chase

Coffee Caricature

The Working Man

North of Somewhere

Salmon Bikini

Mexican Phys Ed Classes

Parasite Trivia