Split Screen Viewing

TV: Chewing gum for the eyes. - Frank Lloyd Wright

The vertizontal hold on the TV. - Archie Bunker

It's the hottest thing on television. - Donald Trump

Television has raised writing to a new low. - Samuel Goldwyn

In television blood is thicker than talent. - Gerald F Lieberman

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! - Homer Simpson

When I was your age, television was called books. - William Goldman

Television proves that sight has a definite odor. - Gerald F Lieberman

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop. - Mark Zuckerberg

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

Babysitters: Girls you hire to watch your television set. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sex on television can't hurt you - unless you fall off. - Unknown

Bed is like the womb, only drier and with better TV reception. - Linda Richman

Let's bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow. - Homer Simpson

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. - David Letterman

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. - Dave Barry

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

Television: a medium. So called because it's neither rare nor well done. - Ernie Kovacs

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. - Ann Landers

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. - Woody Allen

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2. - David Coleman

I wanted this to be a movie on TV so I could press the off button and make it all go away. - Michelle Rowen

So many people are on television that don't know me, and they're like experts on me. - Donald Trump

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. - Laurence J Peter

I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth. - Archie Bunker

I chose the Egyptian dream: the dream to make a TV show, and then be called an infidel by the end. - Bassem Youssef

Television was not intended to make human beings vacuous, but it is an emanation of their vacuity. - Malcolm Muggeridge

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. - Milton Berle

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

There is no way you can get people to believe you on screen if they know who you really are through television. - Jack Nicholson

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home. - David Frost

You've probably got a device on you that can shoot decent video, so what's stopping you? Capture and share some moments. - Steve Garfield

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright

More people watch television and get their information that way than read books. I find new technology and new ways of communication very exciting. - Stephen Covey