#1 humor site on the 'net

Stealth Birdhouse

Making room for tweets in your hidden house plans

Stealth Birdhouse thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

House shingles for the birds

QuotaBills
Fowl: A four-letter bird. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

The early bird catches the worm. - English Proverb

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. - English Proverb

The shell must break before the bird can fly. - Unknown

Goose: A bird that supplies quills for writing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Was there a bird for the souls of people like me? - Ruta Sepetys

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings. - William Blake

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. - Salvador Dali

The bird is powered by its own life and by its motivation. - Abdul Kalam

I never wanted to weigh more heavily on a man than a bird. - Coco Chanel

The early bird catches the worm, eats more, and dies sooner. - Czech Proverb

Egg: 1. A day's work for a hen; 2. A bird's hometown. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Kohta Hirano

If one cannot catch the bird of paradise, better take a wet hen. - Nikita Krushchev

A bird in the hand is a certainty, but a bird in the bush may sing. - Bret Harte

In software systems it is often the early bird that makes the worm. - Alan Perlis

The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. - John Berry

Woodpecker: 1. A knocking bird; 2. A 17th Century prosthetic device. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

Though what bird in the best of circumstances does not look a little stricken? - Lorrie Moore

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

I know of only one bird (the parrot) that talks; and it can't fly very high. - Wilbur Wright

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance. - e e cummings

Learn to adapt like a bird. We can only dream of flying, but the bird has already grown her wings. - Debasish Mridha

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Just as the bird sings or the butterfly soars, because it is his natural characteristic, so the artist works. - Alma Gluck

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

You are Mr. Owl. I am Ms. Hummingbird. We may come from different species but as long as you're a bird, I'm a bird too. - Glad Munaiseche

A male frigate bird blows up a wild red pouch on his neck. He can keep it puffed up for hours. It is his way of impressing the girls. - Julie Murphy

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

Like a prisoner awaiting his release, like a schoolboy when the end of term is near, like a migrant bird ready to fly south... I long to be gone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings. - Victor Hugo


Nose Siphoner

Prehistoric Flash Drive

Mouse Revenge

Young Who Suffer

Stray Cat

A Dog's Seeing Eye Dog

Forest Guardian

Sing It Out

UPS and DOWNS

Good Luck Angel

Hosanna in Excel Sheets

British Kingdom

Dance With Me

Mouse Trick

Black Friday Scam

Pianist's Challenge

Economy Flight

Diamond Ring TP

Water Transformer Hazard

Office Irony

Covid Vaccine Testing

The Hills Are Closed

Temperature Tax

Social Distancing Shoes