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Survivor - Texas Style (2013)

Updated series reflects latest Texas trends

Due to the popularity of the “Survivor” shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled: “Survivor - Texas-Style!” The lucky contestants will all start in Keller, then to Dallas, drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, then over to Houston and down to Brownsville. They will then proceed up to Del Rio, El Paso, Odessa, Midland, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there they will go on to Abilene, Fort Worth and Keller. Finally back to Dallas.
Survivor - Texas Style (2013) thanks to Jim Serritella

Last show there were few survivors...

Each contestant will be driving a pink Prius with ten bumper stickers which read:
1. “I’m A Democrat”
2. “Amnesty For Illegals”
3. “Boycott Beef”
4. “George Strait Sucks”
5. “Re-elect Obama In 2016”
6. “Rosie O’Donnell Is Texas Born”
7. “I Love Obamacare and Chuck Schumer”
8. “It’s Bush’s Fault”
9. “Islam Is A Peace-Loving Religion”
10. “I’m Here To Confiscate Your Guns”

The first contestant to make it back to Dallas - ALIVE - wins.

QuotaBills
Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

Olfactory: Texas petroleum refinery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The people of Texas want us to secede! - William Clements

Oppression can only survive through silence. - Armen de Monteflores

I don't want to survive. I want to live. - 12 Years a Slave

A poet can survive everything but a misprint. - Oscar Wilde

Survival is a major contributor to longevity. - Unknown

Humor is one of the best ingredients of survival. - Aung San Suu Kyi

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Unknown

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value. - Arthur C. Clarke

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

We'd show an Alzheimer's survivor here, if there were one. - Unknown

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

It is not clear that intelligence has any long-term survival value. - Stephen Hawking

Creative minds have been known to survive any sort of bad training. - Anna Freud

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Cause Change & Lead
Accept Change & Survive
Resist Change & Die - Ray Norda

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

Better one line that will survive the author than a hundred books outlived. - Unknown

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive. - Wallace Irwin

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

Success breeds complacency. Complacency breeds failure. Only the paranoid survive. - Andy Grove

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

It is not so much where my motivation comes from but rather how it manages to survive. - Louise Bourgeois

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

We are driven by five genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun. - William Glasser

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

The ballet toe shoe is one of the few instruments of torture to survive intact into our time. - Unknown

Any disaster you can survive is an improvement in your character, your stature, and your life. - Joseph Campbell

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation. - Oscar Wilde

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

It is not the strongest species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the most responsive to change. - Charles Darwin

We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth. - Virginia Satir

Love without hope will not survive. Love without faith changes nothing. Love gives power to hope and faith. - Toba Beta

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

Love, like democracy, can survive almost any attack - except neglect, indifference and maybe an arrow in the back. - Unknown

Plenty of people who survive tragedies end up ambivalent about danger--frightened by it, yet strangely drawn to it. - Keith Ablow

It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. - Charles Darwin

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts. - Robert H. Schuller

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No matter how good or bad you think life is, wake up each day and be thankful for life. Someone somewhere else is fighting to survive. - Unknown

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. - J K Rowling

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. - Maya Angelou

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - C S Lewis

Victory at all cost, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival. - Winston Churchill

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Not every man can carry a full cup. Sudden elevation frequently leads to pride and a fall. The most exacting test of all is to survive prosperity. - Oswald Sanders


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