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A Redneck's planned parenthood

Tennessee Family thanks to Howard Chapman

Natural fammily planning in the Ozarks

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Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Diabetes is caused by melancholy. - Thomas Willis

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. - Elaine Stritch

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

The human body is the best work of art. - Jess C. Scott

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. - James Naismith

A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

Life without liberty is like a body without spirit. - Khalil Gibran

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. - WC Fields

Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. - Seneca

A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. - C S Lewis

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

I have the body of an eighteen-year-old. I keep it in the fridge. - Spike Milligan

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker

There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man. - Novalis

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

Mexico: where life is cheap, death is rich, and the buzzards are never unhappy. - Edward Abbey

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde

The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

Tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul. - Michelle Delio

A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine

If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken

One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


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