Texas Christmas Tree

Olfactory: Texas petroleum refinery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A little axe can cut down a big tree. - Jamaican Saying

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

If you hate where you are, move - you are not a tree. - Unknown

Hunting: the least honorable form of war on the weak. - Paul Richard

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield

Head Hunter: The person to see if you have lost your head - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

If the hunter comes back with mushrooms, don't ask him how his hunt was. - Ghanaian Proverb

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

Texas could exist without the United States but the United States cannot exist without Texas. - Sam Houston

There are sadistic scientists who hurry to hunt down errors instead of establishing the truth. - Marie Curie

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called 'hunting for your spectacles.' - Edward Grey

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway