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Texas Womanhood

You're only helpless when your nail polish is wet

Texas Womanhood thanks to Jim Serritella

Down South Lessons in Womanhood

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Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. - John Gray

Woman, the most dangerous of playthings. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

I was with book, as a woman is with child. - C S Lewis

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Waitress: A woman who thinks money grows on trays - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Trim Figures: What women do when they tell their age - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As Unto The Bow The Cord Is, So Unto The Man Is Woman - Longfellow

Women like silent men. They think they're listening. - Marcel Achard

This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humour section. - John Callahan

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

I like women, I don't understand them, but I like them. - Sean Connery

Masseuse: A woman who doesn't keep her hands to herself - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

She knew what all smart women knew: Laughter made you live better and longer. - Gail Parent

Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we would never need solace. - Don Herold

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

Here's to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them. - Unknown

If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side. - Stuart Turner

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw

Nothing changes the gender equation more significantly than women's economic freedom. - Gloria Steinem

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. - George Carlin

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised. - Dorothy Parker

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Men have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. - Sam Malone

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady, and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. - P.J. O'Rourke

I believe there's an Almighty, and I believe the Almighty's great gift to each man and woman in this world is the desire to be free. - George W Bush

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner


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