#1 humor site on the 'net

Tomato Treat

She certainly knows how to grow tomatoes

Tomato Treat thanks to Mike King

Tomatoes provide a high source of photographic calories

QuotaBills
Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

Ballroom: A nursery for crying babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Food is not just eating energy. It's an experience. - Guy Fieri

If I have one addiction in life, it's probably food. - Liam Hemsworth

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. - Will Ferell

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light. - Jennie Jerome Churchill

When I get a little money, I buy books. If any is left, I buy food and clothes. - Erasmus

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. - Samuel Johnson

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

People want honest, flavourful food, not some show-off meal that takes days to prepare. - Ted Allen

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. - J K Rowling

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

No business can stay in business without customers. How you treat - or mistreat - them determines how long your doors stay open. - Harvey Mackay

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

I like a quiet evening with family or friends over, great food and great discussion, and a lot of laughter. That's really what fills my tank. - Anna Eshoo

If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


Monkeying Around

Wing Support

Massage Therapist

Paper Wedding Dress

High Rise TV

Redneck Kickstand

Mary Potter

Jarred Cat

Frog Waltz

SinkHole Pickup

Always Use Your Mirrors

Johnny On The Pot's Plumber Truck

Wrench Wheel

Bonsai Fruit Tree

Bussines Gaurd

Saxy Shoe

Mayweather Momma

What's Holding You Back?

Final Exams In North Korea

ORCAstraighted

'Outside The Box' Juggler

HeidleBurger

Sun Skin Tone

I Think I'll Just Go Around