TP Dog

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp. - Robin Williams

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash