TP Dog

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp. - Robin Williams

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash