#1 humor site on the 'net

Tree Stump Table

Better chop your own tree

Tree Stump Table thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

If you build it, some city slicker will buy it

Custom table designs and classic contemporary country furnishings where you can pay through the nose, inch by inch, for Bubba's Best

QuotaBills
Palm Tree: A tree with hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Friendship is a sheltering tree. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Time spent amongst trees is never wasted time. - Katrina Mayer

Pencil: A tiny tree used to draw a line in the sand - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

By trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree. - Cameroon Proverb

Preoccupied with a single leaf you won't see the tree. - Vagabond

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

If you don't like where you are, move. You are not a tree. - Unknown

I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees. - Henry David Thoreau

Disbelief: How you tell someone what the green stuff on a tree is - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Death is just a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees. - J.J. Furnas

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Trees are not known by their leaves, nor even by their blossoms, but by their fruits. - Eleanor of Aquitaine

It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs. - W S Gilbert

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. - Bill Vaughan

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

Bad Luck: To have thirteen people seated at the table when you’re paying for the drinks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer

If you reveal your secrets to the wind, don't blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. - Kahlil Gibran

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

For a great gaming experience, make sure the rails, cushion and slate of the pool table are of the best quality. - Unknown

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

Monkey: 1. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees; 2. A key that won't open a door. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work. - Stephen King

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery - air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, 'This is what it is to be happy.' - Sylvia Plath

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Brick Shoes

Custer's Last Stand?

Hand Held Tourist

Curly Heels

Bottle Sneakret

Removed Posts

Second Hand Work

Ostrich Fill Up

Calory Bomb

Interuption Charge

Reach For Your Dreams

Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa