Trunk Drinkers

Drink to me. - Pablo Picasso

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m. - WC Fields

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink. - Gore Vidal

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off. - Unknown

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning. - Founder's Breakfast Stout

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies. - Nelson Mandela

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not. - Brendan Behan

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

A little learning is a dangerous thing
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring. - Alexander Pope

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

Like a camel, I can go without a drink for seven days - and have on several horrible occasions. - Herb Caen

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times. - WC Fields

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while. - Finley P Dunne

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright