Trunk Drinkers

Drink to me. - Pablo Picasso

In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. - WC Fields

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning. - Founder's Breakfast Stout

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it. - Rodney Dangerfield

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink. - Unknown

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. - Nancy Astor

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

I don't smoke dope, I don't drink bourbon. All I want to do is shake my turban. - Peter Singh

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown