Trunk Drinkers

Drink to me. - Pablo Picasso

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

Always drink upstream from the herd. - Will Rogers

Come quickly, I am drinking the stars. - Dom Perignon

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

I don't have a drinking problem. Except when I can't get a drink. - Tom Waits

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it. - Rodney Dangerfield

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

I drink maple syrup. Then I'm hyper so I just run around like crazy and work it all off. - Rachel McAdams

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

If leeches ate peaches instead of my blood,
then I would be free to drink tea in the mud! - Emilie Autumn

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

The drink and I have been friends for so long, it would be a pity for me to leave without one last kiss. - Turlough O'Carolan

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown