#1 humor site on the 'net

Trunk Drinkers

Where backseat drivers are allowed to drink and drive

Trunk Drinkers thanks to Dave Loewen

Safe driving in 'the boot'

QuotaBills
Drink to me. - Pablo Picasso

In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. - WC Fields

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning. - Founder's Breakfast Stout

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it. - Rodney Dangerfield

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink. - Unknown

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. - Nancy Astor

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

I don't smoke dope, I don't drink bourbon. All I want to do is shake my turban. - Peter Singh

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown


New College Game Show

Hands On Tree

Road Shortcut

Running Tears

Swingers

Bird Cam

Parent Signature

Bread Additive

Dates For Everyone

Tree of Dreams

Temporarily Insane Boat Ride

Exit Door

Handicap Motorcyclist

New Canada Bill

Staff Teeth

Funnel Farm

Buffalo Prod

Meat Pie

Where Nobody Speeds

A Fish Called Wanda - Uncut Version

Point Of View

Good Conductor

Kelp Us!

Croc Lunge