Trunk Drinkers

Fjord: Norwegian car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder

Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Sometimes too much drink is barely enough. - Mark Twain

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

Of all vices, drinking is the most incompatible with greatness. - Sir Walter Scott

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Water Hazard: Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering. - Milton Berle

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies. - Nelson Mandela

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

He drained the cup of God's wrath bone dry, leaving not a drop for us to drink. - Richard A Bodey

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

I drink maple syrup. Then I'm hyper so I just run around like crazy and work it all off. - Rachel McAdams

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while. - Finley P Dunne

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I can remember a reporter asking me for a quote, and I didn't know what a quote was. I thought it was some kind of a soft drink. - Joe DiMaggio

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you. - Richard Harris

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown