Trunk Drinkers

Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

The piano has been drinking, not me. - Tom Waits

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink. - Gore Vidal

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Sleep... the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. - WC Fields

Of all vices, drinking is the most incompatible with greatness. - Sir Walter Scott

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. - WC Fields

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

He drained the cup of God's wrath bone dry, leaving not a drop for us to drink. - Richard A Bodey

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

I wish I could trade my heart for another liver, so I could drink more and care less. - Tina Fey

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

When we traded the buffalo for a mare, we had no milk to drink, and we still had droppings to clean up. - Punjab Proverb

The drink and I have been friends for so long, it would be a pity for me to leave without one last kiss. - Turlough O'Carolan

Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while. - Finley P Dunne

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. - George Burns

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

I can remember a reporter asking me for a quote, and I didn't know what a quote was. I thought it was some kind of a soft drink. - Joe DiMaggio

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
Love, the reeling midnight through,
For tomorrow we shall die!
(But, alas, we never do.) - Dorothy Parker

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield