#1 humor site on the 'net

Trunk Drinkers

Where backseat drivers are allowed to drink and drive

Trunk Drinkers thanks to Dave Loewen

Safe driving in 'the boot'

QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

I drink to make other people interesting. - Groucho Marx

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. - WC Fields

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable. - G K Chesterton

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. - Enrico Caruso

Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies. - Nelson Mandela

Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink. - Unknown

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

I drink maple syrup. Then I'm hyper so I just run around like crazy and work it all off. - Rachel McAdams

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. - George Burns

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster


Golf Prayer

Warmest Wishes for a Perfect Sunday

Walking The Dog

Bobslide Event

Holy Bagel

Happy Down Under Day

In Deep Water

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Lean Beer

Cow Skiing

Trail Closed

Toothpaste Holder

Sun Top Roof With Sun Substitute

Tiger Dog

No More Arguing

Multi-Pour Coffee Pot

Things Bottled Up

Cake Message

SnowCut

Depressing Situation

Dark Ages for Jews

Chinese BBQ

Starbucks Goes Extra Mile

Turbo Snail