Trunk Drinkers

Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

I drink to make other people interesting. - Groucho Marx

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. - WC Fields

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable. - G K Chesterton

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. - Enrico Caruso

Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies. - Nelson Mandela

Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink. - Unknown

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

I drink maple syrup. Then I'm hyper so I just run around like crazy and work it all off. - Rachel McAdams

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. - George Burns

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster