Trunk Drinkers

Drink to me. - Pablo Picasso

Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m. - WC Fields

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Sleep... the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. - WC Fields

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable. - G K Chesterton

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering. - Milton Berle

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink. - Unknown

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not. - Brendan Behan

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

A little learning is a dangerous thing
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring. - Alexander Pope

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

Like a camel, I can go without a drink for seven days - and have on several horrible occasions. - Herb Caen

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while. - Finley P Dunne

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

I don't really drink sodas, but when I have popcorn or pizza I need a little. It's the perfect combination. - Alessandra Ambrosio

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown