QuotaBillsA wig is a wig is a wig. - Billy Zane
Long on hair, sort on brains. - French Proverb
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? - George Carlin
Never ask the barber if you need a haircut. - Warren Buffett
Politics is just show business for ugly people. - Jay Leno
He doesn't dye his hair, he bleaches his face. - Johnny Carson
I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi
Every day People straighten up the hair, why not the heart? - Ernesto Guevara
Do not read beauty magazines. They only make you feel ugly. - Mary Schmich
Experience is a comb life gives you after you lose your hair. - Judith Stern
Let the wind blow through your hair while you still have some. - Dave Weinbaum
I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd
He doesn't dye his hair, he's just prematurely orange. - Gerald Ford
Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. - P G Wodehouse
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield
Only ugly people need manners. The pretty can get away with anything. - Evelyn Waugh
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Lily Tomlin
If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. - Hillary Clinton
The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell
Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield
I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield
An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. - Winston Churchill
I don't want a wig that looks like a wig; I want one that could pass for a weave. - Nicki Minaj
When I was with Andy Warhol, I thought, 'God, his wig looks cheaper than mine!' - Dolly Parton
If you wear a wig, everybody notices. But if you then dye the wig, people notice the dye. - Andy Warhol
I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere
What's the whole point of being pretty on the outside when you're so ugly on the inside? - Jess C Scott
It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less with baldness. - Cicero
German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton
The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side. - James Baldwin
I benefit from the Mr. Potato Head syndrome. Put a wig and a nose and glasses on me, and I disappear. - Phil Hartman
I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield
Our oldest son was trying to find himself for about a year. Then one day he got a haircut, and found himself. - Phil Callaway
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing
I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria
Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor
When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro