Ugly Haircut

A wig is a wig is a wig. - Billy Zane

Long on hair, sort on brains. - French Proverb

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? - George Carlin

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut. - Warren Buffett

Politics is just show business for ugly people. - Jay Leno

He doesn't dye his hair, he bleaches his face. - Johnny Carson

I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi

Every day People straighten up the hair, why not the heart? - Ernesto Guevara

Do not read beauty magazines. They only make you feel ugly. - Mary Schmich

Experience is a comb life gives you after you lose your hair. - Judith Stern

Let the wind blow through your hair while you still have some. - Dave Weinbaum

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

He doesn't dye his hair, he's just prematurely orange. - Gerald Ford

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. - P G Wodehouse

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield

Only ugly people need manners. The pretty can get away with anything. - Evelyn Waugh

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Lily Tomlin

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. - Hillary Clinton

The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. - Winston Churchill

I don't want a wig that looks like a wig; I want one that could pass for a weave. - Nicki Minaj

When I was with Andy Warhol, I thought, 'God, his wig looks cheaper than mine!' - Dolly Parton

If you wear a wig, everybody notices. But if you then dye the wig, people notice the dye. - Andy Warhol

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere

What's the whole point of being pretty on the outside when you're so ugly on the inside? - Jess C Scott

It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less with baldness. - Cicero

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side. - James Baldwin

I benefit from the Mr. Potato Head syndrome. Put a wig and a nose and glasses on me, and I disappear. - Phil Hartman

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield

Our oldest son was trying to find himself for about a year. Then one day he got a haircut, and found himself. - Phil Callaway

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro