#1 humor site on the 'net

Undergarment Financing

Hygiene counts in a store that's clothing down

Undergarment Financing thanks to Dave Loewen

Some things you don't want to touch

QuotaBills
Private jets cost a lot of money. - Donald Trump

He who marries for money earns it. - Hebrew Proverb

Money: the poor man's credit card. - Marshal McLuhan

Stocks do not move unless they are pushed. - S Jay Levin

Life is a game. Money is how we keep score. - Ted Turner

I find all this money a considerable burden. - J Paul Getty

Education costs money. But then so does ignorance. - Claus Moser

If money is your hope for independence, you will never have it. - Henry Ford

I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money. - Marlon Brando

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repairing. - Billy Rose

I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect. - Steven Wright

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. - Oscar Wilde

A liberal is a man who is willing to spend somebody else's money. - Carter Glass

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly. - Peter deVries

How much money does it take to make a man happy? Just one more dollar. - John D. Rockefeller

The more money an American accumulates, the less interesting he becomes. - Gore Vidal

I am fiercely loyal to those willing to put their money where my mouth is. - Paul Harvey

There is no money in poetry, but then there is no poetry in money, either. - Robert Graves

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

Gentility is what is left over from rich ancestors after the money is gone. - John Ciardi

The man who never has money to pay his debts has too much of something else. - J.L. Basford

If we were interested in making money, we wouldn’t have become teachers. - Robin Williams

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

With money in your pocket, you are wise and you are handsome - and you sing well too. - Yiddish Proverb

The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. - Kin Hubbard

It's better to do nothing with your money than something you don't understand. - Suze Orman

Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right. - Kurt H Adler

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

We shouldn't spend money on things we don't need when others don't have the things they do. - Peter Singer

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

Keeping books on social aid is capitalistic nonsense. I just use the money for the poor. I can't stop to count it. - Evita Peron

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

There are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny - have you ever tried to buy them without money? - Ogden Nash

Street League Skateboarding is the premier professional skateboarding league in the world, with the biggest prize money in history. - Rob Dyrdek

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't need to advertise it. - Will Rogers

If you have more money than brains, you should focus on outbound marketing. If you have more brains than money, you should focus on inbound marketing. - Guy Kawasaki


Happy Snow Car

Sand Strap Experience

Redneck Calf Feeder

BaCoN T-Shirt

Go Winterized

Car Igloo

Hen Pecked

It's Movie Time

In The Dog House

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Diaper Change

Palestinian Security Check

Wurst-Case Scenario

High-Rise Inifinity Pool

Winter Kayaking

Balanced Family Life

Closed Ahead

Forgettable Fishing Trips

I've Got Your Back

Dr Pepper Financing

Wine Therapy

Weakest Part

Cycle Circles

My New Diet