#1 humor site on the 'net

Unknown Assailant

When testing of the Emergency Alert System is a FAIL

Unknown Assailant thanks to Barry McCartney

TV station attempts to bring anonymity to an assault suspect

QuotaBills
It is good to love the unknown. - Charles Lamb

Never answer an anonymous letter. - Yogi Berra

Another victim of the grim weeper. - Archie Bunker

I got a unanimous (anonymous) letter - Archie Bunker

You are not the victim of your story. - John Gray

Television is democracy at its ugliest. - Paddy Chayefsky

In television blood is thicker than talent. - Gerald F Lieberman

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! - Homer Simpson

Television proves that sight has a definite odor. - Gerald F Lieberman

Life doesn't imitate art; it imitates bad television. - Woody Allen

Bed is like the womb, only drier and with better TV reception. - Linda Richman

Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. - Freda Adler

We go back and forth between being time's master and its victim. - James Gleick

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. - Robert Benchley

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. - David Letterman

Television: a medium. So called because it's neither rare nor well done. - Ernie Kovacs

If I ever have to stop taking the subway, I'm gonna have a heart attack. - Edward Norton

We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack. - Marie Ebner Von Eschenbach

I have come to believe that this is a mighty continent which was hitherto unknown. - Christopher Columbus

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. - Woody Allen

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. - Orson Welles

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

I wanted this to be a movie on TV so I could press the off button and make it all go away. - Michelle Rowen

So many people are on television that don't know me, and they're like experts on me. - Donald Trump

Men must be taught as if you taught them not,
And things unknown proposed as things forgot. - Alexander Pope

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

That the Pearl Harbor attack should have succeeded in achieving surprise seems a blessing from heaven. - Hideki Tojo

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. - Milton Berle

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white. - Russell Peters

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up. - Jay Leno

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

What brought me into the TV business is what keeps me here and happy. You can learn something new every day if you have a really positive attitude. - Katie Couric


Giraffe Lunch

Bathroom Celebration

Tennis Ball Retriever

One

Tonsil Ring

Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time

Anon-y-moose

Redneck Beer Opener

Greek Monk

Dates For Everyone

Max Occupancy Rounded to 100

Group Photo

Awning Truck Advertising

Harley Load

Face To Face

Who Needs Physics?

Benched Puppies

Water Relief

Shot Glasses

Men in Denim

Chocolate Couch

Ant Attack

Extreme Pressure Cooker

Just Thinking