#1 humor site on the 'net

Wheelbarrow Races

How to get 3 vehicles past the toll booth for the price of 1

Wheelbarrow Races thanks to Roy Taylor

Bubba found a cheaper option than motorizing his garden tools

QuotaBills
Plodding wins the race. - Aesop

Slow and steady wins the race. - Aesop

In the race for love, I was scratched. - Joan Davis

Quicksand: Beach where motor races are held - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I do not regard a broker as a member of the human race. - Honore de Balzac

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running. - Unknown

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

In the Moscow Olympics, Lasse Viren came in fifth and ran a champion's race. - David Coleman

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Let's pray that the human race never escapes from Earth to spread its iniquity elsewhere. - C S Lewis

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet. - Damon Runyon

The human race is inquisitive about other people's lives, but negligent to correct their own. - St Augustine

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

Even a race to Obama, she was gonna beat Obama. I don't know who would be worse, I don't know, how could it be worse? - Donald Trump

The world, the race, the soul - in space and time the universes,
All bound as is befitting each - all surely going somewhere. - Walt Whitman

Contempt for happiness is usually contempt for other people's happiness, and is an elegant disguise for hatred of the human race. - Bertrand Russell

In the marathon a crazy athlete can just keep pushing from the beginning; at a championship you don't need a time just to win the race. - Haile Gebrelassie

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

The child, merely by going on with his life, learns to speak the language belonging to his race. It is like a mental chemistry that takes place in the child. - Maria Montessori

Battery Electrolyte Tester: A tool for transferring sulfuric acid from a car battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that your battery is dead as a doornail - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If we trust in Him, keep His word, and live our lives for His pleasure, He'll give us the power we need - power to fight the good fight, to finish the race, and to keep the faith. - Ronald Reagan

I've always played cards. I can't remember when there wasn't a gambling game going on somewhere, even if it was a craps game in a wheelbarrow on the backside of the racetrack. - Wilford Brimley

Science is global. Einstein's equation, E=mc2, has to reach everywhere. Science is a beautiful gift to humanity, we should not distort it. Science does not differentiate between multiple races. - A.P.J. Abdul Kalam

Boston is the cream of the crops of the marathon world. It has such history that you feel such honor just being a part of it. All the other races have pacers to get you to a Boston qualifying time. - Summer Sanders

I'm trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted the timetable for childbearing so that menopause and teaching a sixteen-year-old how to drive a car will occur in the same week. - Erma Bombeck


Curly Heels

Bottle Sneakret

Removed Posts

Second Hand Work

Ostrich Fill Up

Calory Bomb

Interuption Charge

Reach For Your Dreams

Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat