Woodpecker Trio

People like to trace their ancestry. - Richard Dawkins

Baking is science for hungry people. - Unknown

Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting. - Unknown

My parents put a live teddy bear in my crib. - Woody Allen

Aren't most of you descended from pirates? - Prince Philip

The family is one of nature's masterpieces. - George Santayana

Beware of men who flourish with hereditary honors. - Latin Proverb

Take it from me, parents just don't understand. - Will Smith

There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld

I would give everything if I could only keep my family. - Johnny Depp

The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents. - John J. Plomp

I know love at first sight can work. It happened to my parents. - George Clooney

Impeccable: 1. Having immunity to woodpeckers; 2. Hidden from birds. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations. - Oscar Wilde

Gentility is what is left over from rich ancestors after the money is gone. - John Ciardi

No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI

I believe in moderation. I work on genealogy only on days that end in 'y'. - Richard Thiesen

Conventions are like coins, an easy way of dealing with the commerce of relations. - Freya Stark

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter

I only hope when I have my own family that every day I see a little more of my father in me. - Keith Urban

Character is better than ancestry, and personal conduct is of more importance than the highest. - Thomas J. Barnardo

The first who was king was a fortunate soldier: Who serves his country well has no need of ancestors. - Voltaire

All dentists talk while they work. They have inherited this from their professional ancestors, the barbers. - Mark Twain

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

I don't think he's gonna come Edith. He just ain't got none of that, waddya call, family unconscious. - Archie Bunker

The family, that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor in our innermost hearts never quite wish to. - Dodie Smith

Children despise their parents until the age of forty, when they suddenly become just like them, thus preserving the system. - Quentin Crewe

Our ancestors are very good kind of folks; but they are the last people I should choose to have a visiting acquaintance with. - Richard B. Sheridan

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right path, the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank

The average family spends 30 hours in front of a television, and they say they don't have the time to have a balanced, integrated life. - Stephen Covey

A man finds room in the few square inches of the face for the traits of all his ancestors; for the expression of all his history, and his wants. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I like a quiet evening with family or friends over, great food and great discussion, and a lot of laughter. That's really what fills my tank. - Anna Eshoo

Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die. - Oscar Wilde

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda