#1 humor site on the 'net

Wrench Dinosaur

Proof that mechanics lived in prehistoric times

Wrench Dinosaur thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Welding art for lizard loungers

QuotaBills
Buzz Saw: A honey of a tool. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Catacomb: A feline grooming tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Men have become the tools of their tools. - Henry David Thoreau

Honeycomb: Hair styling tool used by bees - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We must use time as a tool, not as a crutch. - John F Kennedy

Have thy tools ready. God will find thee work. - Charles Kingsley

Social media are tools. Real time is a mindset. - David M. Scott

The man who has a full set of tools has no children. - Unknown

Reading is a basic tool in the living of a good life. - Joseph Addison

The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool. - Stephen King

History is a tool used by politicians to justify their intentions. - Ted Koppei

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

The most powerful leadership tool you have is your own personal example. - John Wooden

Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things. - Henry Ward Beecher

A sharp tongue is the only edge tool that grows keener with constant use. - Washington Irving

If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. - Abraham Maslow

Guarantee: A legal vehicle which expires on the same day as your mechanical one - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I once worked as a salesman and was very independent. I tool orders from no one. - Gerald Barzan

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape to make them stop. - G.M. Weilacher

Communications tools don't get socially interesting until they get technologically boring. - Clay Shirky

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

I'm focusing on healing lives and teaching people that they can heal - giving them tools to heal. - Iyanla Vanzant

I am a lizard, a shark, a heat-seeking panther. I want to be Bob Denver on acid playing the accordion. - Nicolas Cage

Our Age of Anxiety is, in great part, the result of trying to do today's jobs with yesterday's tools. - Marshall McLuhan

It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have lightened the day's toil of any human being. - John S Mill

A designer is an emerging synthesis of artist, inventor, mechanic, objective economist and evolutionary strategist. - R. Buckminster Fuller

Laughter is a great way to diffuse an uncomfortable situation, so I began to use that as a tool, throughout my life. - Romancy Malco

Hire people that you can trust, pick a tool that you trust, and just keep everybody on the same page. Then back off. - Len Markidan

E-Z Out Bolt and Stud Extractor: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is 10 times harder than any known drill bit. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin

Tar Arns: (Southern) A tool employed in changing wheels. Usage: 'You cain't change a tar without a tar arn' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

The great trial lawyers are the ones who help their jurors by providing them with the tools with which to reach the right verdict. - G Christopher Ritter

Life is a child playing around your feet, a tool you hold firmly in your grip, a bench you sit down upon in the evening, in your garden. - Jean Anouilh

Snap-On Gasket Scrapper: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Style used to be an interaction between the human soul and tools that were limiting. In the digital era, it will have to come from the soul alone. - Jaron Lanier


Bike Horse Power

Hendersonville Police

Redneck NASCAR Astronaut

Valium Latte

Tree Removal

Happy Billionaire Halloween

Almost Done

Halloween Transformers

Latte Defined

Bush Zombie

Clean Windows Are Highly Over-rated

Cutting Off Board

Eat Your Dinner!

Hormone Guide

Gun Laws

Pumpkin-Themed Baby Announcement

Wolfermelon

Car Axident

Centipede Pumpkin

Hiding Horse

How To Enjoy Pumpkin Beer

Bourbon Shampoo

Goat Bike

Food Art