Ambulance Caddy

Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez