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Aussie Bar Rules

Australians aren't always Down Under

Aussie Bar Rules thanks to Eddy Joyce, Armadale, West Australia

Bartending signs for male and female customers in Australia

QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

Appropriate rules cultivate a disciplined character. - Bill Welker

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Rules of society are nothing; one's conscience is the umpire. - Madame Dudevant

Laws are not masters but servants, and he rules them who obeys them. - Henry Ward Beecher

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. - Casablanca

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife), but still my own. - Si Robertson

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

If you must play, decide on three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time. - Chinese Proverb

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

He who learns the rules of wisdom without conforming to them in his life is like a man who plows in his field but does not sow. - Saadi

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown


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