BartendHers

Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown