#1 humor site on the 'net

Bird Smoker

The dangers of second hand smoke for animals

Bird Smoker thanks to Karen Moore

Study reveals new addiction to cigarette smoke

QuotaBills
The early bird catches the worm. - English Proverb

I want to paint the way a bird sings. - Claude Monet

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs. - William Shakespeare

Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. - Fletcher Knebel

I'm suffering a little bit from smoke exhilaration. - Archie Bunker

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

The early bird catches the worm, eats more, and dies sooner. - Czech Proverb

If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion. - Noam Chomsky

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Kohta Hirano

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

The Wright Brothers flew through the smoke screen of impossibility. - Dorothea Brande

A bird in the hand is a certainty, but a bird in the bush may sing. - Bret Harte

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. - Mark Twain

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

I know of only one bird (the parrot) that talks; and it can't fly very high. - Wilbur Wright

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. - Lou Holtz

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

I don't smoke dope, I don't drink bourbon. All I want to do is shake my turban. - Peter Singh

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. It wrecks dreams and breaks people. - Unknown

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. - Mark Twain

It was really strange to see all these apes standing around eating popcorn, smoking, wearing sunglasses. - Estella Warren

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings. - Victor Hugo


Bach Flip

Apathy Mountain

Solemate

Double Vision

Please Help My Car

Adultery

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Moses' USB Tablets

Virus Update

Carnations vs. Roses

Waterproof Notepad

Sudoku Cats

Harlie's Angel

Ladder Load

Road To Nowhere

Bartender Mechanic

Promote Yourself

Noteable Bartender

Microsoft Innovation

Complaint Jar

First Selfie

Leave My Drink Alone

Great Scott!

Golden End of the Rainbow