Joe-ks.com
#1 humor site on the 'net
Boatload Interception
Canadians seeking higher pensions as illegal immigrants
Navy helps to assist Canadian seniors
The Navy intercepted a boatload of people off the coast of B.C. today. This placed the Navy in an awkward position, as the boat was not heading to, but away from Canada, towards Asia.
Another surprise finding was that they were loaded with White Canadians who were all seniors of pensionable age. Their claim was that they were trying to get to Asia so as to be able to return to Canada as illegal immigrants, and therefore be entitled to far more benefits than they were receiving as legitimate Canadian pensioners.
The Navy is believed to have given them food, water and fuel, and assisted them on their journey. We are booking on the next boat out. Let me know if you want to come. Remember - you have to be over 65!
Another surprise finding was that they were loaded with White Canadians who were all seniors of pensionable age. Their claim was that they were trying to get to Asia so as to be able to return to Canada as illegal immigrants, and therefore be entitled to far more benefits than they were receiving as legitimate Canadian pensioners.
The Navy is believed to have given them food, water and fuel, and assisted them on their journey. We are booking on the next boat out. Let me know if you want to come. Remember - you have to be over 65!
Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis
Old age is a wonderful disguise. - Katherine Applegate
Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb
Old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch
The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde
If youth had but the knowledge and old age the strength. - French Proverb
One of the many pleasures of old age is giving things up. - Malcolm Muggeridge
Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo
All my available funds are completely tied up in ready cash. - WC Fields
The old age of an eagle is better than the youth of a sparrow. - Proverb
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana
Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner
Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb
Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison
The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan
I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon
Sure I'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day. - Lillian Carter
Youth is the time of getting, middle age of improving, and old age of spending. - Anne Bradstreet
W.C. Fields has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled. - Gene Fowler
Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher
Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers
Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie
When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo
There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson
The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love
When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst
Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn
Autumn is really the best of the seasons; and I'm not sure that old age isn't the best part of life. - C S Lewis
You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain
The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley
I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes
I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer
Not one of them who took up in his youth with his opinion that there are no gods ever continued until old age faithful to his conviction. - Plato
Aging: 1. A supposed ripening into wisdom that most Westerners attempt to delay as long as possible; 2. A one-way street with no stoplights. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Old age is a wonderful disguise. - Katherine Applegate
Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb
Old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch
The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde
If youth had but the knowledge and old age the strength. - French Proverb
One of the many pleasures of old age is giving things up. - Malcolm Muggeridge
Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo
All my available funds are completely tied up in ready cash. - WC Fields
The old age of an eagle is better than the youth of a sparrow. - Proverb
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana
Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner
Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb
Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison
The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan
I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon
Sure I'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day. - Lillian Carter
Youth is the time of getting, middle age of improving, and old age of spending. - Anne Bradstreet
W.C. Fields has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled. - Gene Fowler
Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher
Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers
Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie
When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo
There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson
The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love
When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst
Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn
Autumn is really the best of the seasons; and I'm not sure that old age isn't the best part of life. - C S Lewis
You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain
The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley
I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes
I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer
Not one of them who took up in his youth with his opinion that there are no gods ever continued until old age faithful to his conviction. - Plato
Aging: 1. A supposed ripening into wisdom that most Westerners attempt to delay as long as possible; 2. A one-way street with no stoplights. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dragon Playground
Redneck Boat Ramp
Jack-A-Lope vs Jack-E-Lope
Urleen
Carry On or Carrion?
Selfie Pilot
Monarch Butterflies - Starting a Monarchy
Air Couch
Europe Road Trip
Thongthing Special
Nighttime Graffiti
Baby Formula
Kid Suction
Redneck Moving Truck
Critter Control
Lost Dog
Nail Chair
Looking For Something?
Yellow Pet
Race Break
Fuse Bypass
Good Boy
British Tea Party
Roadside Assistance