Bonus Baby
From Planned Parenthood to Surprise Parenthood
Budgeting for two - affording twins
QuotaBillsBirth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker
No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant
Deceitful: Infant who needs changing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold
Infancy conforms to nobody; all conform to it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Very few people know this man was born an only twin. - Henny Youngman
There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson
If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron
A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark
One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield
There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris
My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter
Memory is a complicated thing, a relative to truth but not its twin. - Barbara Kingsolver
Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth
Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams
Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox
At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill
The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. - Carl Knudsen
The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh
An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria
Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson
Kidnap: 1. Something that a young child takes when tired; 2. When a baby goat sleeps. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
It's great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people. - Pamela Anderson
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. - Joseph Campbell
Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield
You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers
Don't tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results. - George S Patton
The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo
If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt
No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin
Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik
Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds