#1 humor site on the 'net

Bonus Baby

From Planned Parenthood to Surprise Parenthood

Bonus Baby thanks to Warren Ralston

Budgeting for two - affording twins

QuotaBills
Happiness was born a twin. - Lord Byron

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy. - Von Clausewitz

Stop crime at its source - support planned parenthood. - Robert Byrne

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Memory is a complicated thing, a relative to truth but not its twin. - Barbara Kingsolver

Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. - Albert Einstein

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

There are two things in this life for which we are never fully prepared: twins. - Josh Billingsad

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. - Carl Knudsen

The man who is ostentatious of his modesty is twin to the statue that wears a fig-leaf. - Mark Twain

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

It's one of the great urban myths that people get pregnant in order to have children. - Menzies Campbell

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. - Joseph Campbell

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Don't tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results. - George S Patton

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


Eye For Coffee

Like No Udder

Egyptian Pyramid Scheme

Hammock Kayak

CARnivore

Alligator Hallucinogens

Step Lover

Iron Horse Carriage

Anon-y-moose

Kids Meal

Close Today

How Pitbulls Really Fight

Grillbillies

Captain Literate

Fossilized Sid

Plenty Of Fish In The Sea

Husband Colors

Mac Supports Windows

Me First!

Latest Ukrainian Model

Chocolate Bath

Becoming A Cop

Handicap Swing

Lawn Aeration