British League of Pessimists

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson

What Britain needs is an iron lady. - Margaret Thatcher

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

He was not only a bore; he bored for England. - Malcolm Muggeridge

England can never be ruined except by a Parliament. - Lord Burleigh

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white. - Ambrose Bierce

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Rain is the one thing the British do better than anybody else. - Marilyn French

A smile takes but a moment, but the memories of it last forever. - Unknown

A pessimist is someone who makes difficulties of his opportunities. - Unknown

I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else. - Winston Churchill

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both. - Oscar Wilde

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

Bridge Partner: A person who is undesirable if he has a one-trick mind. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

Optimist: someone who tells you to cheer up when things are going his way. - Edward Murrow

Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

The British have a remarkable talent for keeping calm, even when there is no crisis. - Franklin P Jones

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it. - George Bernard Shaw

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

An optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity. - Winston Churchill

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

I'm going to smile, and my smile will sink down into your pupils, and heaven knows what it will become. - Jean-Paul Sartre

Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them. - Simon Wiesenthal

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

There's something about a woman with a loud mind that sits in silence, smiling, knowing she can crush you with the truth. - R G Moon

'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster; it's more like a cha-cha. - Robert Brault

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin