British League of Pessimists

Never regret anything that made you smile. - Mark Twain

When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh

He was not only a bore; he bored for England. - Malcolm Muggeridge

A fantastic positive attitude make a great day! Smile! - Mary D Bradford

An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge for a curve. - Ring Lardner

I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British. - Unknown

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it. - Joan Rivers

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

You only have to survive in England and all is forgiven you. - Alan Bennett

What Great Britain calls the Far East is to us the near north. - Robert Gordon Menzies

It's easy to smile when you have a squirrel's intellect. - Dylan Moran

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else. - Winston Churchill

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny. - C S Lewis

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count. - Kin Hubbard

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye

Pessimists are usually kind. The gay, bubbling over, have no time for the pitiful. - Sean O'Faolain

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

The noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees is the high road that leads him to England. - Samuel Johnson

An optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity. - Winston Churchill

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity. - Oscar Wilde

The point of living, and of being an optimist, is to be foolish enough to believe the best is yet to come. - Peter Ustinov

I'm going to smile, and my smile will sink down into your pupils, and heaven knows what it will become. - Jean-Paul Sartre

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. - James Branch Cabell

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

A smile is the lightning system of the face, the cooling system of the head, and the heating system of the heart. - Unknown

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them. - Simon Wiesenthal

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space. - Marilyn Monroe

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde

Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster; it's more like a cha-cha. - Robert Brault

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin

Behind my smile is a broken heart; behind my laugh I'm falling apart; behind my eyes are tears at night; behind my body is a soul trying to fight. - Unknown