British League of Pessimists

Never regret anything that made you smile. - Mark Twain

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. - Steven Wright

When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with. - WC Fields

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

A smile takes but a moment, but the memories of it last forever. - Unknown

I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else. - Winston Churchill

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both. - Oscar Wilde

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery. - Walter Winchell

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Pessimists are not boring. Pessimists are right. Pessimists are superfluous. - Elias Canetti

Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count. - Kin Hubbard

The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world. - George Bernard Shaw

The visionary leader is an optimist, for no pessimist ever made a great leader. - William W Francis

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

My mom always said, "You'd rather have smile lines than frown lines." - Cindy Crawford

The British have a remarkable talent for keeping calm, even when there is no crisis. - Franklin P Jones

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy. - Thich Nhat Hanh

The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The leader adjusts the sail. - John C Maxwell

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little. - Mark Twain

In America, the policeman is a working-class hero. In England, the policeman is a working-class traitor. - Martin Amis

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

I'm going to smile, and my smile will sink down into your pupils, and heaven knows what it will become. - Jean-Paul Sartre

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit. - Helen Keller

Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster; it's more like a cha-cha. - Robert Brault

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay