But I'm Batman

Unsafe at any speed. - Ralph Nader

Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

OK, so what's the speed of dark? - Steven Wright

Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead! - David Farragut

There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. - Homer

Speed is not a priority, just enjoy your hike. - Barry Putra

There is more to life than increasing its speed. - Mahatma Gandhi

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. - Steven Wright

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Walter Mondale has all the charisma of a speed bump. - Will Durst

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy. - Von Clausewitz

I am not a speed reader.
I am a speed understander. - Isaac Asimov

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. - David Letterman

The speed of the leader determines the rate of the pack. - Wayne Lukas

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us air tickets. - Mel Brooks

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

When you're over the hill, that's when you pick up speed. - Quincy Jones

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman, then always be Batman. - Unknown

Every success is usually an admission ticket to a new set of decisions. - Henry Kissinger

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. - Steven Wright

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

A great athlete does not come from muscle, speed, and skill, but from the mind first. - Dan E. Welker

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

All are inclined to believe that they covet, from a lottery ticket up to a passport to Paradise. - Lord Byron

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. - Steven Wright

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. - Corrie Ten Boom