#1 humor site on the 'net

Canadian Car Crash

Please excuse me for interrupting your day

Canadian Car Crash thanks to Jerry VanHorne

Things are a little different in Canada

QuotaBills
Canada was built on dead beavers. - Margaret Atwood

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified. - Aesop

Stardom isn't a profession, it's an accident. - Lauren Bacall

I grew up working in Canada so everything was low budget. - Ellen Page

Sorry, I don't take orders. I barely take suggestions. - Unknown

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

You have to know a man awfully well in Canada to know his surname. - John Buchan

Love in the real world means saying you're sorry 10 times a day. - Kathie Lee Gifford

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for "Running off to Canada." - Jay Leno

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

I felt sorry for myself because I had no hands until I met a man who had no chips. - Kent Andersson

Canada is the only country in the world that knows how to live without an identity. - Marshall McLuhan

Sorry for being late. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here. - Unknown

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew. - Unknown

Canada is a good country to be from. It has a gentler slower pace - it lends perspective. - Paul Anka

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humour is Canadian. But I can't vote. - Donald Sutherland

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

South Africa is the most beautiful country I have been to. Canada is also hugely underrated. - Honor Blackman

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

Trudeau's contribution was not to build Canada but to destroy it, and I had to come in and save it. - Brian Mulroney

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

Canada's political parties spend a few years in opposition and then govern as if it's permanent payback time. - Bob Rae

Canada is a balloon-puncturing country. You are not really allowed to be an icon unless you also make an idiot of yourself. - Margaret Atwood

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have. - Dale Carnegie

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. - Oprah Winfrey

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin


Men in Denim

Chocolate Couch

Ant Attack

Extreme Pressure Cooker

Just Thinking

Nothing Wrong Picture

Lipstick Dog

Hair Strengthener

Whale Photobomb

World Peas

Hide and Seek

Hoodie Onesy

Going Around In Circles

Whiskey Jig

Redneck Mercedes

Hala Fruit

Hydro Water Power

Selfie Shoes

Tons Of Anarchy

Science World

Da Hood Shirt

What Do You See? - Part III

ThaiTanic

Aging Mermaid