Canadian Car Crash

Canada first, Canada last, Canada always. - Wilfrid Laurier

I get to go to overseas places, like Canada. - Britney Spears

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

Very sorry can't come. Lie follows by post. - Charles Beresford

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you. - Robin Williams

I grew up working in Canada so everything was low budget. - Ellen Page

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. - Robin Williams

I did a lot of things as a Muslim that I am sorry for now. - Malcolm X

Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party. - Craig Ferguson

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

Happiness is an accident of nature, a beautiful and flawless aberration. - Pat Conroy

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

Canada is the only country founded on the relentless pursuit of the rodent. - Preston Manning

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland. - Donald Trump

Sorry for being late. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here. - Unknown

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew. - Unknown

Canada is a good country to be from. It has a gentler slower pace - it lends perspective. - Paul Anka

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humour is Canadian. But I can't vote. - Donald Sutherland

South Africa is the most beautiful country I have been to. Canada is also hugely underrated. - Honor Blackman

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers. - Jamie Farr

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

I'm sorry I slapped you. It's just that you seemed like you weren't going to stop talking and I panicked. - Bill Murray

Canada is a balloon-puncturing country. You are not really allowed to be an icon unless you also make an idiot of yourself. - Margaret Atwood

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? - Dylan Moran

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have. - Dale Carnegie

I have a maple leaf tattoo over my heart, quite literally, and my two favorite things on Earth are being in Canada and making movies. - Jay Baruchel

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. - Oprah Winfrey

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin