#1 humor site on the 'net

Canadian Car Crash

Please excuse me for interrupting your day

Canadian Car Crash thanks to Jerry VanHorne

Things are a little different in Canada

QuotaBills
Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein

Canada was built on dead beavers. - Margaret Atwood

Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

Very sorry can't come. Lie follows by post. - Charles Beresford

Love means never having to say you're sorry. - Love Story

Alimony is always having to say you're sorry. - Philip Simborg

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

Smoking means always having to say you're sorry. - Tom Ferguson

Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Grab a chance and you won't be sorry for a might have been. - Arthur Mitchell Ransome

Love in the real world means saying you're sorry 10 times a day. - Kathie Lee Gifford

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

I came from Canada, where it's freezing cold for seven months out of the year. - Rachelle Lefevre

Sorry for being late. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here. - Unknown

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humour is Canadian. But I can't vote. - Donald Sutherland

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

South Africa is the most beautiful country I have been to. Canada is also hugely underrated. - Honor Blackman

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

I have great, fond memories of Canada. I feel that one day my bones will more than likely end up there. - Aden Young

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

The only way we can ever teach a child to say "I'm sorry" is for him to hear it from our lips first. - Kevin Leman

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? - Dylan Moran

I have a maple leaf tattoo over my heart, quite literally, and my two favorite things on Earth are being in Canada and making movies. - Jay Baruchel

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. - Oprah Winfrey

Exert your talents, and distinguish yourself, and don't think of retiring from the world, until the world will be sorry that you retire. - Samuel Johnson


Fish Walk

Paradigm Shift

Spanish Stairs

TyrannoSnowRus Rex

Hawaii Surfing

Should Have Pulled Out

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Cooking For Guys

One Sushi Is Enough

Before Online Dating

Wood Trike

Crow Species

Young or Old Swimmer?

Japanese Keyboard

Baby Peephole

Exit Not Found

Cat Burglar

Foot Race

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Lockdown Advice

Wii Way

Odor Detector

Associate Demonstration

Biden in the Oval Office