Canadian Car Crash

Canada was built on dead beavers. - Margaret Atwood

Canada first, Canada last, Canada always. - Wilfrid Laurier

It's too late Edith, my bus has sailed. - Archie Bunker

I don't even know what street Canada is on. - Al Capone

Alimony is always having to say you're sorry. - Philip Simborg

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified. - Aesop

Stardom isn't a profession, it's an accident. - Lauren Bacall

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you. - Robin Williams

I grew up working in Canada so everything was low budget. - Ellen Page

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. - Robin Williams

Sorry, I don't take orders. I barely take suggestions. - Unknown

Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant

Canada has never been a melting pot; more like a tossed salad. - Arnold Edinborough

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

If you call ham "Canadian bacon", what do you call bacon? - Michael Kelso

I've only been to these foreign countries: Canada, L.A. and Miami. - Larry the Cable Guy

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

I felt sorry for myself because I had no hands until I met a man who had no chips. - Kent Andersson

Police: The only people who are paid to go around pinching people in the wrong places - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was. - Joel Madden

Canada is a good country to be from. It has a gentler slower pace - it lends perspective. - Paul Anka

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. - Henny Youngman

The only way we can ever teach a child to say "I'm sorry" is for him to hear it from our lips first. - Kevin Leman

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

Canada's political parties spend a few years in opposition and then govern as if it's permanent payback time. - Bob Rae

I was born in Canada for a reason. It was because my parents wanted me to have the freedoms that this country offers. - Patrick Chan

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have. - Dale Carnegie

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin

The future rewards those who press on. I don't have time to feel sorry for myself. I don't have time to complain. I'm going to press on. - Barack Obama