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Canadian Mail

Cold package delivery in the Moistwest Territories

Canadian Mail thanks to Jillian Hannigan

So, how cold was it for mail carriers last week?

QuotaBills
Canada was built on dead beavers. - Margaret Atwood

I got a unanimous (anonymous) letter - Archie Bunker

Raw lobster tail, freeze dried, is amazing. - Nathan Myhrvold

BANG - A four-letter Italian word for good-bye. - Archie Bunker

I don't even know what street Canada is on. - Al Capone

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright

Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party. - Craig Ferguson

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. - Josh Billings

That letter's too old! What I mean to say - it's subspired. - Archie Bunker

If you call ham "Canadian bacon", what do you call bacon? - Michael Kelso

I've only been to these foreign countries: Canada, L.A. and Miami. - Larry the Cable Guy

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it? - Mark Twain

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The number one job facing the middle class... a three-letter word, jobs, J-O-B-S. - Joe Biden

When God created the world, he didn't draw a line between Canada and America. - Marianne Williamson

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. - Mark Twain

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter. - Blaise Pascal

I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was. - Joel Madden

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle

The most interesting thing about a postage stamp is the persistence with which it sticks to its job. - Napoleon Hill

I have great, fond memories of Canada. I feel that one day my bones will more than likely end up there. - Aden Young

Make no mistake. Canada is not a bilingual country. In fact it is less bilingual today than it has ever been. - Stephen Harper

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

I was born in Canada for a reason. It was because my parents wanted me to have the freedoms that this country offers. - Patrick Chan

Sensitive love letters are my specialty: "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. P.S. I'm gay." - Homer Simpson

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Let me put it this way. Canada is not so much a country as a holding tank filled with the disgruntled progeny of defeated peoples. - Mordecai Richler

I have a maple leaf tattoo over my heart, quite literally, and my two favorite things on Earth are being in Canada and making movies. - Jay Baruchel

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas


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