#1 humor site on the 'net

Canadian Trap

How to capture Canadian hockey browsers

Canadian Trap thanks to Jerry VanHorne

The trap - used by Canadian breweries to gain market share

QuotaBills
Hockey's my favorite sport. - Denis Leary

Hockey is the original extreme sport. - Tom Ward

Hockey is figure skating in a war zone. - Unknown

To succeed in hockey, you need teamwork. - Henry Samueli

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn

The mouse that fears the trap has already been trapped. - Marty Rubin

Figure skaters have awful perceptions of hockey players. - Kristi Yamaguchi

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. - Rodney Dangerfield

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

The greatest hockey player who ever lived: Bobby Orr, and I love him. - Donald S. Cherry

I love hockey because of the respect for history and for the game itself. - George Vecsey

My goal was to play in the NHL, because that is the best hockey in the world. - Jaromir Jagr

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

When you think of hockey, when you think of Canada, you think of Wayne Gretzky. - Joe Sakic

I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

I'm not a hockey fan, which is probably why I had to leave Canada in the first place. - Ryan Reynolds

I never looked at hockey as work. Now that I'd finished playing, I had to go to work. - Bobby Orr

I like ice hockey. No one is ever going to ask me to write about that as a metaphor for life. - Steven Pinker

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

You do not play hockey for good seasons. You play to win the Stanley Cup. It has to be the objective. - Guy Lafleur

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

I found my prince - he's a hockey player and we met at an NHL event, the last place I'd ever expect to meet someone, but there he was. - Carol Alt

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster


Eye Testing In Progress

Parent Signature

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Long Bore Gun

Bird Cam

Lost Wormhole

Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In

Low Ceiling Workout

Dog Diner

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Cow Farts

Revenge

Gaping Hole Costume

Redneck Water Skiing

Harrison Ford

Plenty of Room for God's Creatures

Aussie Selfie

Pyramid Kiss

Piano Door Bell

Trucks with 'Down' Syndrome

Tower of Pisa Restorer

Glamour Training

What Did She Say?

I'm Here!