#1 humor site on the 'net

Car-Eating Cow

Sign that it’s the Hungry Season Down Under

Car-Eating Cow thanks to Eddy Joyce, Armadale, West Australia

Beware of large bovines on Australian roads

QuotaBills
The appetite grows by eating. - Francois Rabelais

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Bonjour, you cheese-eating surrender monkeys. - Groundskeeper Willie

Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat? - Dr Gonzo

LAN Down Under: Local Area Network in Australia - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

When eating bamboo sprouts, remember the man who planted them. - China Proverb

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

The world can't end today, because it's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. - Unknown

You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans. - Ronald Reagan

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

I love eating sushi and eating raw and clean - no pasta and bread. Low carbs is what works for me. - Christine Teigen

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread. - Mahatma Gandhi

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

It was really strange to see all these apes standing around eating popcorn, smoking, wearing sunglasses. - Estella Warren

Reading a good book in silence is like eating chocolate for the rest of your life and never getting fat. - Becca Fitzpatrick

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go, 'You know, I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'? - Tim Vinel

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

The best reason to go to the movies is to be with other people. Eating the popcorn, being with other people you don't know. - Peter Weller

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

A doable goal for me is to finish a marathon under four hours. I'm doing all the training, but the hardest part is eating right. - Sean Astin

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

I'm pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10 year old with a Hershey bar and crows feet. - Amy Neftzger

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


I Think I'll Just Go Around

People Of The River

Synonym Rolls

New Stormtrooper

Education Standstill

Pool Cleaner

Stool There

Soldier Tribute

It Was That Close

Messy Temper Tantrum

Big Tame Hunter

Exactly Enough Space

Coca Cola Twins

Sidetracked Baby

Breakthrough Blessings

Pauper's Graveside Service

Are You Ready?

Pulling The Wool Over Your Eyes

Girlfriends

How To Weigh Yourself Correctly

Bungee Cord Suspenders

Clogged Drain

Lum-Purr-Jack

Cookie King