#1 humor site on the 'net

Car Gas Wash

Don't be fuelish!

Car Gas Wash thanks to Barry McCartney

Anyone got a match?

QuotaBills
Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

My alone time is for everyone's safety. - Unknown

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

Goals are the fuel in the furnace of achievement. - Brian Tracy

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa

Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Motivation is the fuel, necessary to keep the human engine running. - Zig Ziglar

The traveler with empty pockets pursues his journey in perfect safety. - Ovid

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. - Thomas Fuller

Sometimes I can only groan, and suffer, and pour out my despair at the piano. - Frederic Chopin

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. - Marion C. Garretty

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

If people can just pour into the country illegally, you don't have a country. - Donald Trump

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

Take your work, but never yourself, seriously. Pour in the love and whatever skill you have, and it will come out. - Chuck Jones

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant. There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks. - Johann Gottfried Von Herder

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

I like cast iron coated with enamel for longevity and forgiveness if I happen to take my eyes off the prize while pouring Chianti. - Mario Batali

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

It is with narrow-souled people as with narrow-necked bottles: the less they have in them, the more noise they make in pouring it out. - Alexander Pope

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

Love one another and help others to rise to the higher levels, simply by pouring out love. Love is infectious and the greatest healing energy. - Sai Baba


Shopping-ish

Head Twins

Pickup Park

Diet Hard

Go Nowhere Bike

Master Reference Binder

Do You See A Bird or a Girl?

Car Moochanic

Wife's Small Mistake

Redneck TP

Backwards Clock

Redneck House Move

New World Record Holder

World's Hardest Golf Shot

Safe Bike

Donut Hole History

Church Flight

Jews: The Revenge

Israel Security

Breakfast In Bed

Antler Field

Redneck Stove Burner

Texas Earrings

A Man's Life