#1 humor site on the 'net

Carsicle

So that's why no one parked there before

Carsicle thanks to Jim Serritella

Finding a dry parking spot on a freezing winter day

QuotaBills
Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Parking is such street sorrow. - Herb Caen

The water doesn't know how old you are. - Dara Torres

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. - Mark Twain

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

Like water, we are truest to our nature in repose. - Cyril Connolly

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

Without ice cream there would be darkness and chaos. - Don Kardong

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

Individuals who act too 'cool' often freeze under pressure. - Unknown

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

Somewhere, behind space and time,
Is wetter water, slimier slime. - Rupert Brooke

Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs. - Bill Murray

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

I like ice hockey. No one is ever going to ask me to write about that as a metaphor for life. - Steven Pinker

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

Iceomaniac: One who has to go out of their way to step on thin ice to hear a satisfying crunching sound - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Arthur Conan Doyle

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder


Irish Pothole

Yoga Pants

Baby Illusion

Mother Wrench's Gripping Story

Sechelt Sunrays

Russian BiteLifter

Propane Diving

Scuba Diving Sucks

Louisiana Turtle Dogs

Special Offer

Parking Squeeze

Music Note Chairlift

Gangsta

Reformed Buddhists

Redneck Mirror

Buddha Is Watching You

Antler Switch Plate

Together Since

Barking Up The Wrong Tree

Indiana Bones

Raxe

Halloween Horse

Holding His Own Portraits

Kung Fu Driver