Christmas Balls

Laugh it up, Fuzz ball. - Han Solo

The ball doesn't know how old I am. - Martina Navratilova

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace

When I die, bury my balls next to my old bag. - Unknown

I've never met a popcorn ball I didn't like. - Deb Caletti

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

Even if the ball was wrapped in bacon, Lassie couldn't find it. - Unknown

The slow motion replay doesn't show how fast the ball was traveling. - Richard Benaud

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

The most important thing about batting is getting the bat to hit the ball. - Michael Holding

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it. - Lou Holtz

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. - Sam Snead

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

I could juggle anything in my day: balls, cigar boxes, knives. But I could never juggle my income tax. - WC Fields

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

If you're in the penalty area and don't know what to do with the ball, put it in the net and we'll discuss the options later. - Bob Paisley

The rules of clockwork might apply to familiar objects such as snooker balls, but when it comes to atoms, the rules are those of roulette. - Paul Davies

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger