#1 humor site on the 'net

Christmas Lottery Gift

Devaluation hits the Christmas tree

Christmas Lottery Gift thanks to Fred Connolly

Finding a true friend on Christmas day

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

The great gift of Easter is hope. - Basil C Hume

Conceit is God's gift to little men. - Bruce Barton

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. - Suzanne Somers

Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace

Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. - William Shakespeare

A book is a gift you can open again and again. - Garrison Keillor

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no more expensive thing than a free gift. - Michel de Montaigne

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons. - Ruth Ann Schabacker

To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift. - Steve Prefontaine

For business, our Internet love affair was a gift from the gods. - Gary Vaynerchuk

Do not be afraid; our fate cannot be taken from us; it is a gift. - Dante Alighieri

How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? - Jay Leno

The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention. - Richard Moss

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

Those gifts are ever the most acceptable which the giver has made precious. - Ovid

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. - Emile Zola

The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value. - Charles Dudley Warner

Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention. - Jim Rohn

The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. - Pablo Picasso

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

God gave us the gift of lie; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well. - Voltaire

It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody. - Maya Angelou

You have a grand gift for silence, Watson. It makes you quite invaluable as a companion. - Arthur Conan Doyle

Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. - Rick Warren

Polly had a gift for baking pies, and she poured her heart and soul into every one she made. - Sarah Weeks

The purpose of life is to discover your gifts, and the meaning of life is to give them away. - Martin Seligman

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Technology is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. - Carrie Snow

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. - Johnny Carson

Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love. - Leo Buscaglia


Sidewalk Malt Melt

Bird's Eye View

Sea Girl

Lifeguard Distancing

Merry Go Motorbike

Build Back Better - Season 2

Build Back Better - Season 1

Zamboni Date

Bagpipe Runners

9 Months On The Inside

Noah Called

The Mighty Stegosaurus

Get A Dog They Said

Are You Ready?

Down Day

Peddle Sewing Machine Sink

You Never Call

Dawntastic

Work Rules

Navy Golf Course for Aircraft Carriers

Less Severe Inflation

Hotel Annex

King Stump

Diet Carbs