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Cooking For Guys

Cookbook for a bachelor's kitchen

Cooking For Guys thanks to Howard Chapman

Meal recipe for a bachelor: (A) simple, (b) quick, and (C) lots of it

QuotaBills
Sushi Vendor: A sell-fish guy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

A crude meal, no doubt, but the best of all sauces is hunger. - Edward Abbey

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal. - William S. Burroughs

Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist. - G K Chesterton

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

If you play acoustic guitar you're the depressed, sensitive guy. - Elliott Smith

Someone has to stand up and speak for the freedoms of the little guy. - Christopher Monckton

I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers. He hates New York. - Steven Wright

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head. - Steven Wright

Here's a last bequest: I don't want that guy sayin' my last urology. - Archie Bunker

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

In hotel rooms I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked. - Jonathan Katz

Quartet: 1. Four guys who think the other three sing off-key; 2. The sum of two pints. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

I have a constant sweet tooth, so I like anything from the bakery, like cupcakes, cookies. - Carmen Electra

He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is. - Lou Duva

The secret of managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys who are undecided. - Casey Stengel

The secret of managing is to keep the 5 guys who hate you away from the 5 guys who are undecided. - Casey Stengel

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

I like cookies, any cookie you put in front of me - animal cookies, sugar cookies, anything crunchy. - Maria Shriver

I do know what my first meal in the next world would be: Spaghetti Aglio e Olio, heavy on everything. - Rachael Ray

I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

I'm a games and theory king of guy. I love puzzles, so it was fun dissecting Shakespeare's prose. - Neil Patrick Harris

I don't think I've ever been to an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up. - George Costanza

I tend to play mostly villains and twisted people. Unsavory guys. I think it's my face, the way I look. - Christopher Walken

Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on a date. - Caroline Rhea

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. - Ogden Nash

Thousands and thousands of guys applied to be on the show... Some of them were crazy. Some of them were so much into themselves. - Donald Trump

The best cookies of all in the world are the ones my daughter Sally makes. They come out all uniform with nice little air holes. - Willard Scott

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

When you're young, you think your Dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he's just a regular guy who wears a cape. - Dave Attell


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