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Cooking For Guys

Cookbook for a bachelor's kitchen

Cooking For Guys thanks to Howard Chapman

Meal recipe for a bachelor: (A) simple, (b) quick, and (C) lots of it

QuotaBills
Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Don't date a guy that takes more selfies than you do. - Unknown

I'm a terrible cook, but I make very good lobster salad. - Nancy Carell

A crude meal, no doubt, but the best of all sauces is hunger. - Edward Abbey

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal. - William S. Burroughs

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. - Bob Hope

If you play acoustic guitar you're the depressed, sensitive guy. - Elliott Smith

I'm a guy who can't function well in life, but I can in art. - Woody Allen

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

My weak spot is laziness. Oh, I have a lot of weak spots: cookies, croissants. - Anthony Hopkins

If I have one advantage, it's that I will try to work harder than the next guy. - Jay Leno

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

The rich take life one financial year at a time. The poor take life one meal at a time. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

I ain't got nothing in that hand. Look at that, this guy is suspective of everything. - Archie Bunker

It used to be that when all else failed, a guy went into the army; now he becomes a consultant. - Blackie Sherrod

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

You're the guy that'll be sneaking out of your bedroom at three o'clock in the morning to look at your bike. - Paul Teutul

I tell ya, I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetery plot. The guy said, "There goes the neighbourhood!" - Rodney Dangerfield

A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. - Ogden Nash

Thousands and thousands of guys applied to be on the show... Some of them were crazy. Some of them were so much into themselves. - Donald Trump

Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss

They just wanna get rid of us old guys over 50 that's all, and put us out to pasture. Well I ain't ready to be pasteurized! - Archie Bunker

There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. - Unknown

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman


Subway Swing

Fish Eye Lens

Horse Mask

Chocolate Filling

Mea Culpa Road

Pool Painters

Cocoon Stage

Eye For Coffee

Like No Udder

Egyptian Pyramid Scheme

Hammock Kayak

CARnivore

Alligator Hallucinogens

Step Lover

Iron Horse Carriage

Anon-y-moose

Kids Meal

Close Today

How Pitbulls Really Fight

Grillbillies

Captain Literate

Fossilized Sid

Plenty Of Fish In The Sea

Husband Colors