Dad's Turn

Nipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Unclaimed Baby Sheep: No man's lamb - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

A baby's laugh is an angel's voice. - Unknown

Titillate: A tardy meal for a breast-fed baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? - Benny Hill

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Of all the titles I've been privileged to have, 'Dad' has always been the best. - Ken Norton

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

A library should be the delivery room for the birth of ideas - a place where history comes to life. - Norman Cousins

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless. - Homer Simpson

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The greatest tribute a boy can give to his father is to say, 'When I grow up, I want to be just like my Dad.' - Billy Graham

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be optimistic. - David Attenborough

When you're young, you think your Dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he's just a regular guy who wears a cape. - Dave Attell

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Lookin' back all I can say about all the things he did for me is I hope I'm at least half the dad that he didn't have to be. - Brad Paisley

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds