Dad's Turn

Hasta la vista, baby. - Terminator 2: Judgement Day

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Dust Rags: Dad's Underwear - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ballroom: A nursery for crying babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My dad was the funniest guy I ever knew. - Russell Peters

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

My dad's my best mate, and he always will be. - Cher Lloyd

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy. - Unknown

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon. - E.M. Forster

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

Of all the titles I've been privileged to have, 'Dad' has always been the best. - Ken Norton

Becoming a dad means you have to be a role model for your son and be someone he can look up to. - Wayne Rooney

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. - Robert Orben

The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be optimistic. - David Attenborough

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

When you're young, you think your Dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he's just a regular guy who wears a cape. - Dave Attell

Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad, and that's why I call you dad, because you are so special to me. - Wade Boggs

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt