Dad's Turn

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Ballroom: A nursery for crying babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I Said So: Reason enough, according to Dad - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Howling Success: The baby that gets picked up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My dad's my best mate, and he always will be. - Cher Lloyd

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy. - Unknown

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon. - E.M. Forster

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

A daughter needs a dad to be the standard against which she will judge all men. - Gregory E Lang

Kidnap: 1. Something that a young child takes when tired; 2. When a baby goat sleeps. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

Of all the titles I've been privileged to have, 'Dad' has always been the best. - Ken Norton

Becoming a dad means you have to be a role model for your son and be someone he can look up to. - Wayne Rooney

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A library should be the delivery room for the birth of ideas - a place where history comes to life. - Norman Cousins

Charity is not like feeding pigeons in the square. It is a process that requires professional management. - Roman Abramovich

Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless. - Homer Simpson

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

When you're young, you think your Dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he's just a regular guy who wears a cape. - Dave Attell

Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad, and that's why I call you dad, because you are so special to me. - Wade Boggs

Lookin' back all I can say about all the things he did for me is I hope I'm at least half the dad that he didn't have to be. - Brad Paisley

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds