Dad's Turn

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Asthma: What you do if Dad says no - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A baby's laugh is an angel's voice. - Unknown

Dapper Diaper: Well-dressed baby underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Parenthood: Feeding the mouth that bites you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Howling Success: The baby that gets picked up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My dad's my best mate, and he always will be. - Cher Lloyd

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

After your death, you will be what you were before your birth. - Arthur Schopenhauer

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy. - Unknown

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon. - E.M. Forster

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they'll just have to learn how to be babies longer. - Andy Warhol

The greatest tribute a boy can give to his father is to say, 'When I grow up, I want to be just like my Dad.' - Billy Graham

My Dad once said, "you wouldn't worry so much about what people thought of you if you knew how seldom they did." - Dr. Phil McGraw

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad, and that's why I call you dad, because you are so special to me. - Wade Boggs

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds