#1 humor site on the 'net

Dead Phone

Receiving too many silent calls?

Dead Phone thanks to Wayne Nowazek

How to diagnose landline phone problems

How to diagnose landline phone problems
'Telephone to the Dead' - the name given to the device Thomas Edison was working on in the last decade of his life
QuotaBills
So many horrid Ghosts. - William Shakespeare

I only eat candy on Halloween. - Michael Trevino

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

Halloween pumpkins aglow.
Come see the show. - Unknown

It's easier to dismiss ghosts in the daylight. - Patricia Briggs

Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later. - Unknown

The only way you can become a legend is in your coffin. - Bette Davis

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Graveyards were the one place Belladonna never saw ghosts. - Helen Stringer

Only the knife knows what goes on in the heart of a pumpkin. - Simone Schwarz-Bart

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

If it’s the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number? - Robin Williams

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume of failure. - Zig Ziglar

America forms the longest and straightest bone in the earth's skeleton. - Ellsworth Huntington

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. - George Bernard Shaw

Life is like looking for your phone. Most of the time it's in your hand. - Unknown

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

My favorite word is 'pumpkin.' You are a pumpkin. Or you are not. I am. - Harrison E. Salisbury

In one aspect, yes, I believe in ghosts, but we create them. We haunt ourselves. - Laurie H. Anderson

The people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this you keep them alive. - Rob Montgomery

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole. - Unknown

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

I never really address myself to any image anybody has of me. That's like fighting with ghosts. - Sally Field

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

It is good for a man to invite his ghosts into his warm interior, out of the wild night, into the firelight, out of the howling dark. - A.S. Byatt

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek

Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good one are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon. - Unknown

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien


Beach Breakfast

Bicycle Dining

Shark Bike

Thrilling Read

Extra Weight

Yoga's Balanced Lifestyle

Gift Shop for Stray Kids

Souped Up Car

Darth VadeHer

Submergible

Happy People

Today's Paper Read Yesterday

Someone Is Upset

Texas Diet

Moose Crossing

Lost Meal

Plane Oops!

The Wheels of Life

Nerd Shaving

Beethoven's Teacher

Coke's Special Ingredients

Weather Warning

Freedom At Last

Ebola Can Be Eaten