#1 humor site on the 'net

Dead Phone

Receiving too many silent calls?

Dead Phone thanks to Wayne Nowazek

How to diagnose landline phone problems

How to diagnose landline phone problems
'Telephone to the Dead' - the name given to the device Thomas Edison was working on in the last decade of his life
QuotaBills
Dead Ringer: A disconnected telephone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I've made a career off of Halloween. - Cassandra Peterson

Now I know what a ghost is. Unfinished business. - Salman Rushdie

Halloween pumpkins aglow.
Come see the show. - Unknown

Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. - Judy Gold

The only way you can become a legend is in your coffin. - Bette Davis

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Graveyards were the one place Belladonna never saw ghosts. - Helen Stringer

Only the knife knows what goes on in the heart of a pumpkin. - Simone Schwarz-Bart

The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. - Clifford Stoll

I don't believe in ghosts but they blindly believe in me. - Amit Abraham

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Take care of your costume and your confidence will take care of itself. - Amit Kalantri

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

Most of life's great moments happen when your phone is in your pocket. - Unknown

America forms the longest and straightest bone in the earth's skeleton. - Ellsworth Huntington

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. - George Bernard Shaw

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotsmen in America and Americans in Scotland - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My movies are usually about stripping off the makeup, getting down to the skeleton. - Michael Douglas

The people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this you keep them alive. - Rob Montgomery

The ghosts of things that never happened are worse than the ghosts of things that did. - L.M. Montgomery

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

People are prisoners of their phones; that's why it's called a 'cell' phone. - Unknown

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

The main Facebook usage is so big. About 20 percent of the time people spend on their phone is on Facebook. - Mark Zuckerberg

My cell phone is acting up - I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. - Unknown

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

Everyone has a skeleton in their closet. The difference between Bill Clinton and myself is that he has a walk-in closet. - Pat Buchanan

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. - Ambrose Bierce

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good one are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon. - Unknown

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? - Stephen Levine

The light of a new day always chases the shadows of the night away, and shows us that the shape of our fears is only the ghost of our own minds. - Terry Goodkind

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift


Pittsburghese

Whose Problem

Grasping Shirt

An Evening Prayer

Baby Clone

Piano Ring

Religious Nuts

Funnel Farm

Urinal Challenge

Snow Detour

Redneck GPS

Snow Receiver

Book Perspective

Why Stand In Line?

How Twins Are Made

Ups and Downs

Irish Flu Shots

Snake Circle

Romantic Accident

Winter Mirror

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Abbey Road Joe-kster and Bernie

Straws

Chernobyl Fish