Doggie Bag

Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Back in my day we had nine planets. - Unknown

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

No man is rich enough to buy back his past. - Oscar Wilde

Quinctilius Varus, give me back my legions. - Augustus

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard. - Phyllis Diller

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Face your fears or they will climb over your back. - Frank Herbert

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you. - Satchel Paige

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

I do not pray for a lighter load, but for a stronger back. - Philip Brookes

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. - Steven Wright

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? - George Carlin

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

When I die, I want to come back as Bobby Layne's chauffeur. - Don Meredith

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

It's good to see you. It means you're not behind my back. - Henny Youngman

He'll be coming back and back and back, like a chronicle rash. - Archie Bunker

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near. - Andrew Marvell

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

It's all right letting yourself go, as long as you can let yourself back. - Mick Jagger

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

What's the point of going out, we're just going to end up back here anyway. - Homer Simpson

A mind that is stretched by new experiences can never go back to its old dimensions. - Oliver W. Holmes Jr.

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

The affection you get back from children is sixpence given as change for a sovereign. - Edith Nesbit

There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class. - David Coleman

Politeness and consideration for others is like investing pennies and getting dollars back. - Thomas Sowell

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. - Robert Brault

He's so generous, he'll go out, get two blowjobs, come back and give you one of them. - Milton Berle

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

If you have zest and enthusiasm, you attract zest and enthusiasm. Life does give back in kind. - Norman Vincent Peale

Let Wall Street have a nightmare and the whole country has to help get them back in bed again. - Will Rogers

Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill. - Groucho Marx

Will you look back on life and say, 'I wish I had,' or 'I'm glad I did it'? - Zig Ziglar

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

If life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. - Unknown

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, "Wish you were here." - Steven Wright

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. - Carl Bard

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours; if they don't, they never were. - Richard Bach

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

Everything has been said before, but since nobody listens we have to keep going back and beginning all over again. - Andre Gide

In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us. - Flora Edwards

The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it, except they keep coming back. - Will Rogers

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. - Rodney Dangerfield

My idea is to make moves to bring chess back to the world's map, to make it part of the world's geography again. - Anatoly Karpov

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again. - Oscar Wilde

We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past, but by the love we're not extending in the present. - Marianne Williamson

When you wake up in the morning, you have two choices: go back to sleep and dream your dreams, or wake up and chase those dreams. - Unknown

The Obama representatives like Robert Gibbs attack people viciously, but people like me will not be silent and will answer them back. - Donald Trump

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

The other day I dreamed that I was at the gates of heaven.
And Saint Peter said, "Go back to Earth. There are no slums up here." - Mother Teresa

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan