#1 humor site on the 'net

Duck Crossing

Safety at pet pedestrian sidewalks

Duck Crossing thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
When in doubt, duck. - Malcolm Forbes

All our geese are swans. - Robert Burton

Goose Pimples: Duck acne - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Quake: Fearful duck call - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When turkeys mate they think of swans. - Johnny Carson

Goose Bumps: To keep geese from speeding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Goose: A bird that supplies quills for writing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One man's goose is another man's dander. - Archie Bunker

When you build bridges you can keep crossing them. - Rick Pitino

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. - English Proverb

A fox should not be on the jury at a goose's trial. - Thomas Fuller

Ego: the fallacy whereby a goose thinks he's a swan. - Oscar Levant

You know, I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters. - Groucho Marx

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

Market: 1. Three women and a goose; 2. What teachers do to homework. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose. - Clarence Darrow

A goose flies by a chart the Royal Geographical Society could not improve. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting the quill back in the goose. - Fred Allen

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath. - Michael Caine

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

Propaganda: 1. Patriotism as practiced by our enemies; 2. Polite, well behaved male goose. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape to make them stop. - G.M. Weilacher

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

Thursday: 1. What you get when crossing the desert; 2. How you feel crossing the desert on a hot day. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nothing is more despicable than a professional talker who uses his words as a quack uses his remedies. - Francois Fenelon

When I lived in Delhi, I used to visit the Lodhi Gardens and feed the pigeons, crows, and ducks there. - Sangram Singh

Unlucky: Crossing the street to avoid walking under a ladder and getting hit by a truck full of horseshoes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wanting to meet a writer because you like their books is like wanting to meet a duck because you like pate. - Margaret Atwood

I walk like a duck: very straight up and down. Or like a penguin. It's a dead giveaway that I'm a dancer. - David Hallberg

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. - John Glenn

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin

Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life. - Groucho Marx

Happiness in this world, when it comes, comes incidentally. Make it the object of pursuit, and it leads us a wild-goose chase, and is never attained. - Nathaniel Hawthorne


mIndians

Mouthful Of Information

Happy Face Sandwich

Senior Eye Exam

Chubby Free

Pirrows

Young Rock Star

Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed

Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake

Think Outside

Despicable Wood Stove

Engineering Flowchart

Egotist

Hunter's Dream Wedding