Egg Tester

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents. - John J. Plomp

Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it. - Madeleine L'Engle

Children are one third of our population and all of our future. - Unknown

The important things are children, honesty, integrity and faith. - Andy Williams

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The real pros get up and go to work. - Harvey Mackay

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

The most sophisticated people I know - inside they are all children. - Jim Henson

When I was a child what I wanted to be when I grew up was an invalid. - Quentin Crisp

Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard. - Margaret C Banning

I have very good executives and great children. They're very good. - Donald Trump

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation. - James E Faust

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test. - George W. Bush

A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Unknown

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. - Milton Berle

If you're going to write a book on how to raise children, do it before you have them. - Bob McLaren

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. - Stacia Tauscher

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. - Clarence Darrow

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

No more massive injections. Tiny children are not horses - one vaccine at a time, over time. - Donald Trump

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

I think of inspiration as desire infused with spirit and topped with an almost reckless optimism. - Fred White

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. - Abigail Van Buren

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Our children may learn about heroes of the past. Our task is to make ourselves architects of the future. - Jomo Mzee Kenyatta

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. - Frank A. Clark

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them. - Antoine de Saint-Expurey

Not every hen lay eggs. Not every hen that lays eggs gets them hatched. Not everyone born with greatness becomes as such. Go, hatch your eggs. - Israelmore Ayivor

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer