Engagement Rings

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

Adorable: What you ring when you go visiting. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong. - Muhammad Ali

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

A juggernaut of onions has shed its load all over the M1. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on. - Ronnie Corbett

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

I think hearts are very much like glasses - if they do not break with the first ring, they usually last a considerable time. - Letitia Landon

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx