Engagement Rings

The name Pavlov rings a bell. - Unknown

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

I think "Hail to the Chief" has a nice ring to it. - John F Kennedy

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

Good intentions are not enough. They've never put an onion in the soup yet. - Sonya Levien

Life is like an onion; you peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep. - Carl Sandburg

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without the emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. - Ravi Zacharias

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong. - Muhammad Ali

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

In this year, King Aethelstan, Lord of Warriors, ring-giver to men... won eternal glory, in battle with sword edges, around Brunaburh. - Unknown

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst