Flatulent Cow

In the dark, all cows are black. - German Proverb

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Milk many cows but make your own butter. - Erwin Lutzer

I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

A good farm is recognized as good partly by its beauty. - Wendell Berry

I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world. - George Washington

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

Stable: A command given to make a male cow remain in one place - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

Abundance: 1. Big party held in a bakery; 2. A social event held in a farm building. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mankind has a free will; but it is free to milk cows and to build houses, nothing more. - Martin Luther

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

Man is that being who invented the gas chambers of Auschwitz; however, he is also that being who entered those chambers upright, with the Lord's Prayer or the Shema Yisrael on his lips. - Viktor Frankl