#1 humor site on the 'net

Flood Float

Making the best of a wet situation

Flood Float thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Summer swimming in Alabama

QuotaBills
Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go. - Michael Phelps

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

Thirteen roadways lead through life
To thirteen doors of death,
Homeward from foolish fears and strife
We float on failing breath. - Tao

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Brazil Banisters

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

VW Treehouse

Crocodile Fall

Hoodie Onesy

BUSker

Monsoon TV

Worked For Them

Colon Celery

Hot Tub Cover

Piano Dress

Parking Guide

Apology to Potential Criminals

Before Morning Coffee

Sons Of Arthritis

Challenge Accepted

Subway Camouflage

In Stitches

Great White

Can I Lick It

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

Velociraptor Defined

Redneck Muffler Repair

Drama Queen Diary