Fool Proof Lighting

Electrical degenerators - Archie Bunker

Fans don't boo nobodies. - Reggie Jackson

Dead Ringer: A disconnected telephone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. - James Keller

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. - Clifford Stoll

Fan Club: Weapon used by a celebrity to beat off too many fans - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. - Cathy Carlyle

Current Events: 1. What an electrician worries about; 2. Electric shocks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

Bob War: (Southern) A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: 'Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

I was training to be an electrician. I suppose I got wired the wrong way round somewhere along the line. - Elvis Presley

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

We can make fun of hockey fans, but someone who enjoys Homer is indulging the same kind of vicarious bloodlust. - Steven Pinker

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. - Ambrose Bierce

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

I'm very anxious to see who the fans choose for their favorite finalist. Their decision could have a big effect on my ultimate decision. - Donald Trump

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown