Fool Proof Lighting

Electrical degenerators - Archie Bunker

Fans don't boo nobodies. - Reggie Jackson

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. - Unknown

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. - Cathy Carlyle

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

We can make fun of hockey fans, but someone who enjoys Homer is indulging the same kind of vicarious bloodlust. - Steven Pinker

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

I'm very anxious to see who the fans choose for their favorite finalist. Their decision could have a big effect on my ultimate decision. - Donald Trump

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown