Fowl Play

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

There's no place in racism for football. - Gareth Thomas

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

You know, I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters. - Groucho Marx

I played a little basketball. Some football in junior high. - Clint Eastwood

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

I believe in Coach Louis Wong. He is so much more than just a football coach. - Stephen Covey

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are. - Arnold H Glasgow

One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape to make them stop. - G.M. Weilacher

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

I walk like a duck: very straight up and down. Or like a penguin. It's a dead giveaway that I'm a dancer. - David Hallberg

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy