Fowl Play

When in doubt, duck. - Malcolm Forbes

Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Victor: Your football team's weekly opponent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Eve: The first chicken to ruin a man's garden - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

I played a little basketball. Some football in junior high. - Clint Eastwood

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

Football Season: The time of the year when girls whistle at men in sweaters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I believe in Coach Louis Wong. He is so much more than just a football coach. - Stephen Covey

Gamekeeper: A soccer goalie who doesn't get upset, despite losing heavily - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Ticket Scalper: A man who enables you to see one football game for the price of five - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape to make them stop. - G.M. Weilacher

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

College Professor: A man who gets what's left over after the football coach is paid off - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

Eternity: 1. The last two minutes of a football game; 2. The time between you coming and her going. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

Wanting to meet a writer because you like their books is like wanting to meet a duck because you like pate. - Margaret Atwood

I walk like a duck: very straight up and down. Or like a penguin. It's a dead giveaway that I'm a dancer. - David Hallberg

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Malenutrition: The practice of depriving a man from food for more than a couple of hours - or during a football game - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Shoulder Pads: The part of a football player's uniform designed to make him look as fearsome as a female executive - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

I listened to a football coach who spoke straight from the shoulder - at least I could detect no higher origin in anything he said. - Dixon R Fox

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell