#1 humor site on the 'net

Garbage Day Special Delivery

The Practical Joe-ker guide on how to liven up garbage day

Garbage Day Special Delivery thanks to Emery Pettigrove

Endorsed by the Al Capone school of victim services

QuotaBills
Only a fool knows everything. - Maasai Proverb

Architects are practical poets. - Unknown

Why did I wake up in a garbage can? - Nicole Polizzi

A fool and her money are soon courted. - Helen Rowland

Faith is the willingness to look foolish. - Mark Batterson

Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise. - Alice Walker

A fool must now and then be right by chance. - William Cowper

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself. - Steve Martin

Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. - Henry David Thoreau

A genius from nine to five - a fool at the weekends. - Unknown

A learned fool is more foolish than an ignorant one. - Moliere

In examinations, the foolish ask questions the wise cannot answer. - Oscar Wilde

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

He who will always be his own lawyer will often have a fool for a client. - J Hunter

Clean and nourish your mind every day. It can easily become a garbage bin. - Unknown

A fellow who is always declaring he’s no fool usually has suspicions. - Wilson Miznor

The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool. - William Shakespeare

Any lack of confidence in the economic future of the United States is foolish. - Herbert Hoover

The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. - Carl Knudsen

When people ask if I do my own stunts, I always answer, "Not on purpose." - Billy Bob Thornton

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. - Woody Allen

Anyone who works is a fool. I don't work - I merely inflict myself on the public. - Robert Morley

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. - Chinese Proverb

The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not laugh is a fool. - George Santayana

The man who asks a question is a fool for a minute; the man who does not ask is a fool for life. - Confucius

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke

What a surprise to find you could shift the contents of your head like rearranging furniture in a room. - Lisa Alther

The foolish reject what they see, not what they think; the wise reject what they think, not what they see. - Huang-Po

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it. - WC Fields

I'm into all that sappy stuff - a surprise picnic, nice dinner, or traveling. I'm kind of an old romantic. - Will Estes

Always remember money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense. - Earl Wilson

Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it. - H L Mencken

You can always tell a real friend: when you make a fool of yourself, he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job. - Laurence Peter

The practical importance of the preservation of our forests is augmented by their relations to climate, soil and streams. - John Muir

The greatest advantage I know of being thought a wit by the world is that it gives one the greater freedom of playing the fool. - Jonathan Swift

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" - Red Skelton

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

As a rule man is a fool,
When it's hot he wants it cool,
When it's cool he wants it hot,
Always wanting what is not. - Unknown

Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense. - Joseph Addison


Magnetic Personality

Giant Texas Red Centipede

Snow Barrier

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Buddhist Tempull

Truck Lift Repair

In-Spired Safety Tip

Secruity Parking Spot

Only In Thailand - Time To Clean The Pet Snake

Remote Outdoors

Scaffolding for the Dirt Cheap Contractor

Fix It Later Detour

I Smell A Rat

Adhesive Shade

Be Anything You Want

Tractor Pull

Canadian Ice Shrub

I Eat Soldiers For Breakfast

Toepener

No-Lake Picture

Logging Chairlift

Milkshake Desweetener

Dog Marathon

Global Warming Protest