Garbage Day Special Delivery
The Practical Joe-ker guide on how to liven up garbage day
Endorsed by the Al Capone school of victim services
QuotaBillsWorry is practical atheism. - Unknown
A quiet fool is half a sage. - Yiddish Proverb
The secret to humor is surprise. - Aristotle
Why did I wake up in a garbage can? - Nicole Polizzi
A fool and his money are soon parted. - English Proverb
A fool and his money are soon elected. - Will Rogers
A fool and his money are soon partying. - Steven Wright
Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise. - Alice Walker
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. - Euripides
Practical politics consists in ignoring facts. - Henry Brooks Adams
Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields
The wise person questions himself, the fool others. - Henri Arnold
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy. - Von Clausewitz
When a fool has made up his mind, the market has gone by. - Spanish Proverb
A fool is known by his speech; and a wise man by silence. - Pythagoras
If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. - Anatole France
The misfortune of the wise is better than the prosperity of the fool. - Epicurus
The best way to convince a fool he is wrong is to let him have his way. - Josh Billings
He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot
A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson
The husband who desires to surprise is often very much surprised himself. - Voltaire
A fellow who is always declaring he’s no fool usually has suspicions. - Wilson Miznor
Coquette: A woman without a heart, who makes a fool of a man who has no head - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When people ask if I do my own stunts, I always answer, "Not on purpose." - Billy Bob Thornton
A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top. - Unknown
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. - Chinese Proverb
I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less with baldness. - Cicero
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Groucho Marx
It never hurts a fool to appear before an audience, for his capacity is not a capacity for feeling. - Dale Breckenridge Carnegie
My imagination makes me human and makes me a fool; it gives me all the world and exiles me from it. - Ursula K. Le Guin
The zombies were like Canadians, in that they looked enough like real people at first, to fool you. - Kelly Link
It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather, we should thank God that such men lived. - George S Patton
What a surprise to find you could shift the contents of your head like rearranging furniture in a room. - Lisa Alther
Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you, he really is an idiot. - Groucho Marx
The foolish reject what they see, not what they think; the wise reject what they think, not what they see. - Huang-Po
The practical importance of the preservation of our forests is augmented by their relations to climate, soil and streams. - John Muir
May I say that I have not thoroughly enjoyed serving with humans? I find their illogic and foolish emotions a constant irritant. - Leonard Nimoy
Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense. - Joseph Addison