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Garbage Day Special Delivery

The Practical Joe-ker guide on how to liven up garbage day

Garbage Day Special Delivery thanks to Emery Pettigrove

Endorsed by the Al Capone school of victim services

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Worry is practical atheism. - Unknown

A quiet fool is half a sage. - Yiddish Proverb

The secret to humor is surprise. - Aristotle

Why did I wake up in a garbage can? - Nicole Polizzi

A fool and his money are soon parted. - English Proverb

A fool and his money are soon elected. - Will Rogers

A fool and his money are soon partying. - Steven Wright

Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise. - Alice Walker

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. - Euripides

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts. - Henry Brooks Adams

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

The wise person questions himself, the fool others. - Henri Arnold

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy. - Von Clausewitz

When a fool has made up his mind, the market has gone by. - Spanish Proverb

A fool is known by his speech; and a wise man by silence. - Pythagoras

If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. - Anatole France

The misfortune of the wise is better than the prosperity of the fool. - Epicurus

The best way to convince a fool he is wrong is to let him have his way. - Josh Billings

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

The husband who desires to surprise is often very much surprised himself. - Voltaire

A fellow who is always declaring he’s no fool usually has suspicions. - Wilson Miznor

Coquette: A woman without a heart, who makes a fool of a man who has no head - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When people ask if I do my own stunts, I always answer, "Not on purpose." - Billy Bob Thornton

A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top. - Unknown

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. - Chinese Proverb

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less with baldness. - Cicero

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Groucho Marx

It never hurts a fool to appear before an audience, for his capacity is not a capacity for feeling. - Dale Breckenridge Carnegie

My imagination makes me human and makes me a fool; it gives me all the world and exiles me from it. - Ursula K. Le Guin

The zombies were like Canadians, in that they looked enough like real people at first, to fool you. - Kelly Link

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather, we should thank God that such men lived. - George S Patton

What a surprise to find you could shift the contents of your head like rearranging furniture in a room. - Lisa Alther

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you, he really is an idiot. - Groucho Marx

The foolish reject what they see, not what they think; the wise reject what they think, not what they see. - Huang-Po

The practical importance of the preservation of our forests is augmented by their relations to climate, soil and streams. - John Muir

May I say that I have not thoroughly enjoyed serving with humans? I find their illogic and foolish emotions a constant irritant. - Leonard Nimoy

Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense. - Joseph Addison


Dragon Playground

Redneck Boat Ramp

Jack-A-Lope vs Jack-E-Lope

Urleen

Carry On or Carrion?

Selfie Pilot

Monarch Butterflies - Starting a Monarchy

Air Couch

Europe Road Trip

Thongthing Special

Nighttime Graffiti

Baby Formula

Kid Suction

Redneck Moving Truck

Critter Control

Lost Dog

Nail Chair

Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break

Fuse Bypass

Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance