Girl Around The House

Integrity never goes out of style. - Jim George

Diamonds are a girl's best friend. - Leo Robin

A house divided against itself cannot stand. - Abraham Lincoln

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker

A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous. - Coco Chanel

Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house. - Unknown

Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor. - Jackson Brown

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor. - Ogden Nash

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield

Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. - Mark Twain

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

He never chooses an opinion, he just wears whatever happens to be in style. - Leo Tolstoy

My mom told me a long time ago, 'Never get in a fight with a lady.' - Oliver North

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

Paper Napkin: Its only ambition is to get down off your lap and play on the floor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't. - Margaret Thatcher

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

Do not blame God for having created the tiger, but thank him for not having given it wings. - Indian Proverb

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright

No guest is so welcome in a friend's house that he will not become a nuisance after three days. - Plautus

You need a plan to build a house. To build a life, it is even more important to have a plan or goal. - Zig Ziglar

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid. - Jane Austen

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

In France we leave unmolested those who set fire to the house, and persecute those who sound the alarm. - Sebastien Chamfort

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

If wrinkles must be written upon our brows, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should never grow old. - James A. Garfield

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare

The universe lies before you on the floor, in the mysterious bodies of your dancers, in your mind. From this voyage no one returns poor or weary. - Agnes de Mille

Don't listen to those who say you're taking too big a chance. If no one ever took risks, Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor. - Neil Simon

Some primal termite knocked on wood,
And tasted it, and found it good;
That is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today. - Ogden Nash