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Girlfriends

Will your friends outlive your husband?

Girlfriends thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Elderly friends make for good relationships

QuotaBills
To stop aging, keep on raging. - Michael Forbes

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Ideal Wife: Any woman who has an ideal husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Can you fix my husband? He says he's broke. - Unknown

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

Veiled Threat: When your girlfriend hints at a wedding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber

My husband's idea of a good night out is a good night in. - Maureen Lipman

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. - Roseanne Barr

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

The husband who desires to surprise is often very much surprised himself. - Voltaire

I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time. - Tom Ward

Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate. - Bertrand Russell

When a man retires his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

Sure I'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day. - Lillian Carter

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Take care of your pennies and your dollars will take care of your widow's next husband. - American Proverb

You can lead audiences to a half-dressed, aging pop star but you can't make them watch. - Megan Basham

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg

Wise Husband: One who buys his wife such fine china she won't trust him to wash the dishes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? - Phyllis Diller

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them. - Steven Wright

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. - Ogden Nash

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Aging: 1. A supposed ripening into wisdom that most Westerners attempt to delay as long as possible; 2. A one-way street with no stoplights. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller


Head Path

Proper English

Reese Witherspoon

Phones At Six

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Whiskey Lurks Good

Tetris Couch

Canadian Alphabet

Love Rocks

Benadryl Cumquat

In It For The Long Haul

Ready Soon

Mud Flops

Been Lapped

How To Use The New 1940 Dial Telephone

Garmin Drive

Redneck Bucket List

Rotating Illusion - Pink Eye Trick

Boneless Bananas

That's My Bed

Eye For Coffee

Logging Moose

Firemen's Revenge